Complexity meets simplicity..
Have I ever said that I think guys who keep blogs and update them regularly are a rare breed of sensitive new age guys? lol. They are bold enough to reveal their emotions and insecurities to the world and remove the mask that social constructs have imposed upon them. I find their courage highly commendable and admirable. Personally, I think it is very sweet of a guy to talk openly about his experience of liking a girl and the process of wooing her complete with the complex emotional struggles he faced. It just reflects how sincere he is towards the girl because he is not afraid to admit to others his feelings. Okay. Before anyone starts to brand me as a psychopath with a fetish for guys who maintain blogs, I have to clarify that male or female, bloggers are people attuned to their innermost self. They share their life experiences which give me great joy reading them because they provide alternative insights and new perspectives.
Havent been blog-surfing for a while which explains why I have been missing out on things happening around me and my friends. Finally managed to unleash the voyeur in me today, hopped through a few blogs and uncovered substantial juicy news. I am really happy to know that good things are happening to my friend. ZX, Congrats on your new status! It is no longer I but WE. Many sweet sweet days to come. Jiayou!! By the way, I'm amazed by you. *.^
Sunday, December 28, 2008
I am irked by the behaviour of certain ugly Singaporeans. Indeed it does not pay to be kind at times. On my way to an appointment, I chanced upon this little girl of 3 years old at Terminal 3. She was crying her eyes out as she had lost her way. No one stopped to help her though apparently she is looking very frightened. Feeling sorry for her, I stopped and asked her what happened and if she knows where her family is. She just kept crying for her mummy and could not answer any of the questions I asked. I brought her to the information counter which was two levels up. As she was afraid of the ladies at the information counter, I stayed with her until her sister arrived upon hearing the page through the intercom. Ridiculously, the girl was kind of upset at me. She was like saying what was her sister doing up here. I explained to her that I had seen her sister crying for her mummy and because she did not know where her family was, I brought her up to the information counter so that they can make an announcement. Not sure if she even understood my words because she was still complaining (in Mandarin) to her boyfriend about the entire episode. Excuse me?! It's alright if you dont appreciate other people's help, at the very least you do not push the blame to the person and behave as if the person has abducted your sister. I help people not because I am a busybody or I hanker after the "thank-you". But of course there are some insecure people who may misinterpret it and look upon a well-meaning person with distrust. duh.. Sadly, our society is increasingly lacking in graciousness and social etiquette. sigh.. But of course this is not going to daunt me from helping other people in future. In any case, I wasnt looking to be praised or commended.
Someone was asking if I am able to sense it when a person doesnt seem to feel like talking. Not sure if I am being sensitive or if the question was meant to mock me?? Apparently, I have been very unresponsive to certain people of late. I know it is evil but sometimes I really just cant be bothered while other times I am just too busy to reply to messages. Sounds irresponsible of me I guess. One thing to clarify though, no matter how busy I am, I still make it a point to reply to messages which are critical. As for those issues that are inconsequential, I see no point in taking time out to reply when I am already pressed for time. Unless I am free, which is when I will reply to all messages, other times I am rather selective. Taking into account that messages are not totally free, being the practical me, why should I reply to messages which I think are overly mundane? If I were to tell out my life story, from the littlest things, I would much prefer saying it out face-to-face rather than through mediated communication. Obviously, some people dont see it the same way.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
It's supposed to be the holiday season but I seem to be busier than ever. so many things to get done and it's not helping that I had sustained a head injury. it gives me headaches, makes me dizzy and drives me nuts. too bad I am allergic to the painkiller prescribed and the doctor refused to prescribe another for me claiming that I did not list that as one of the drugs I am allergic to. that's like how duh.... this gives me not much of a choice but to bear with the pain that hits occasionally.
someone said I am fierce and violent. it's a shame but I have to admit that I can be such a coward at times. I do not have the courage (though now I think it's wit actually) to respond accordingly to a situation. my reaction is usually so slow or rather I took such a long time to process it, that it's often too late to say anything. and how do I make up for it? I'll tell my friends what I would have loved to do/say when faced with that question. that's where the problem lies.. sigh.
certain people in life are just such tests of our tolerance. they certainly epitomize the gist of nuisance and are challenges to one's patience. I need to douse the fire flaming within me before it gets beyond control.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
the world spins around me whenever I bend my head down or tilt my head up. it's terrible and sometimes I wonder if I'll ever faint while journeying from place to place. I need to replenish the blood lost before I suffer from low blood count. in addition, I think my head stinks no thanks to the antiseptic which I have to apply on the wound plus the advice that I should not wash my hair. but how can anyone not wash hair for 5 days?! I did not really heed the advice because I do not want flies swarming around me.
contemplating whether I should post the gory photo of my wound and I decided I would. so this is advance warning for the faint-hearted. please give the following a miss if you want to keep your breakfast/lunch/dinner in the right place, that is your stomach. lol. leave while you can!
before looking at the photo, let me just give the key (as any diagram should have). the yellow blob is actually due to the antiseptic that I applied on my wound, not some pus. so theoretically speaking, the size of the blob is more or less that of my wound. the blue lines (though not that obvious) are actually the thread lines used in the stitching. the red blotches are of course blood of yours truly. after looking at it, I have two things to say. 1. my hair looks so disgustingly oily and yucky. 2. the stitching seems abit too random and scattered. hmmz...
anyway you've been given sufficient time to decide to click on the x on the right corner. so....... here it goes! don't say I never warn you. it's really not for those who are grossed out easily.
it's really grotesque!
Monday, December 15, 2008
for the first time since I'm of knowledge years, I have been admitted to the hospital. though it wasnt exactly the one I would choose rationally. started off with the night cycling at 8 pm at east coast park. slight drizzle did not deter our enthusiasm at all. instead, it was such an adrenalin rush pushing on at full speed with the rain and wind in your face. first stop was changi village which was 19.5 km away. had supper there then we were off to the next stop. Alas, I did not quite make it and blew the rest of the expedition. sigh. somewhere along the way, while cruising down a slope, I suppose I lost balance due to my sudden, abrupt break upon seeing a taxi coming from the right up ahead. couldnt really remember the details except for a lot of buzzing around me as Howard and the rest fussed over me. before I know it, I'm on an ambulance and on the way to the nearest hospital. apparently I lost quite a lot of blood as I had a 3cm laceration at the back of my scalp. for the faint-hearted, please do not try to ask me for a photo cos it will totally gross you out.
at 1 plus in the morning, I was attended to at the A&E. undergoing CT scan and another round of probing and waiting. some injections before my wound was finally stitched. lost count but I think it's 10 plus another 1 which was undid. it's incredibly painful!! though they had applied anesthetic on the area, I can still feel the prick of the needle on my head. ouch! though I must applaud myself for my high tolerance of pain (even the handsome doctor said it must have been super painful). apart from occasional grimacing and squirming, I can say that I am fairly brave. lol. following that, I was bandaged and it looked like a lopsided turban. aye... so unglam. not forgetting the blood dripping onto the garment. it was another round of waiting for the hospital bed. incredulously, I was too cheerful to look like someone who had a head injury, joking and laughing at my own clumsiness and silly state. apart from the head injury, I have abrasions on my elbows and knees which are not that critical and I think I sprained my neck too. it hurts awfully whenever I try to get my head off a pillow. pushed to the ward after 15 minutes and finally settled down in the ward at 4 in the morning. Thanks to Egwin and Kin Sung who stood by.
woken up at 7am by the nurses to bathe?! bleahz. drifted in and out of sleep, eat, sleep, before being discharged at 1pm. in another 5 days' time, I will be removing the thread. yays!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
why do people have this tendency to make their own mistake become a problem for another person? I abhore this behaviour. because of someone else's mistake which seemingly became my fault, I need to compromise my own agenda. not forgetting that I am already not in the best of mood, having rushed down without breakfast needless to say lunch, I waited half an hour just to have a 5 minute encounter. It really ticked me off. why cant some people see other's time as precious as their own? what irked me more is the person was late not because of some understandable reason. rather, gotten back from lunch later than expected. I really felt like 'slapping' someone. of course not physically. I have never slapped anyone nor ever been slapped. my slapping generally refers to a verbal diarrhoea to get all my unhappiness out of my system. but well.. of course it is not always accomplished. sigh...
on a lighter note, i'm almost cleared. the light at the end of the tunnel is indeed alluring.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
the past few weeks had not been easy. praying hard that I would be admitted to NIE soon enough in order to escape from the coldness of the people. dejectedly, I was informed that most of those like me had been enrolled for the January intake, except those of extenuating circumstances. BUT... I did not receive any notification. no words could describe the waves of disappointment and misery that swept me. despite countless encouraging words from people around me, I really cant bear to continue on, with the hostility and backstabbing. Against all odds, my God has delivered me. today, I finally got the affirmatory reply that I am scheduled for the upcoming cohort of 2009. can you imagine my exuberance upon reading those words. indeed, no other words could have meant as much than seeing my name on the list. woah~ the sweet scent of liberation! I can almost savor it, just that I have yet to finalise it in black and white.
what's past sustains us. what's to come drives us on
Sunday, December 07, 2008
I'm spending a relaxing afternoon at the Pacific Coffee at T1. sipping a cup of warm milk, with the warm afternoon sun streaking in through the glass panels, there is much coziness. feeling so much like a taitai. lol. there's really no place I love more than the airport (apart from the house of God, that is). a place of reunions, a place of departures; a place of abundance, a place of emptiness; a place of bonding, a place of solitude. the airport encapsulates so many wonderful memories, integral to the lives of each of us and yet promises a gateway to new encounters. nothing, really nothing, can compare to our airport - Changi Airport!
waiting for val to come back from Taiwan. touching down at 7. I'm sure she has many wonderful stuff to share. *.^
I've hypothesized two possibilities for my sudden loss of voice. One, my throat is rusty, having not used it for some time when during normal school time, I will be utilising it frequently. Two, my body constituition is heaty, due to lack of sleep and proper meals. of course, everyone prefers the second postulation but... I dont really turn in very late during the past week. weird...
forgot to mention that I watched Bolt on thursday. it's my first movie in months(2?) super hilarious and though I usually dont go for comedy, this is one which really tickled me. plot is good and touches on something ever so familiar to us. the fact that society commodotize emotions and treat relationships as mere objects to be manipulated. that's how sad it is. so yeah, 4 popcorns!
Saturday, December 06, 2008
for some strange reason, I am down with sore throat. went to bed with a pain in the throat and the next morning wala~ my voice is half gone! some wonder if it is because of the nature of my job. but.... it's the school holidays now and I dont have any more teaching. theoretically speaking, it is not the time to have a bad throat since I no longer need to raise my voice. somehow there is something weird going on. I remember weeks before my official appointment, I developed a hoarse voice out of nowhere! perhaps it is a seasonal thing? lol. it'd been approximately 4 months since the last mysterious loss of voice. I presume it's time again? hahaz. Rather amusing and perplexing. I can hardly talk now.. so internet is my best friend, for now. ^.*
christmas is coming real soon! whee~~~ I totally heart christmas!
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Started visitation for the first time yesterday with Joanne. Somewhat different from what I expected it but it was a really great learning experience. You never know when your small acts of kindness can touch a person's heart. though it was totally tiring, I enjoyed it tremendously. more weeks to come. ^.*
With the christmas lightings and decor all set, the footsteps of christmas draw nearer. Everywhere you walk, a mix of joy and love abounds. It's time to throng the streets and absorb the sights!
Monday, December 01, 2008
I guess I tend to be an impulse shopper, buying things without any prior research. I stepped into Sitex Fair with the aim of getting the Asus eePC. however, after hours of deliberation with my 'advisor', I figured that complete functionality is still better than reduced ones. Almost decided to settle for Vaio but realized Fujitsu was providing a better deal. Got swayed here and there because I am spoilt for choices. NEC? Asus? Fujitsu? Just when I finally decide I will get another NEC, I backed out. Not because I was fickle-minded but because of their poor customer service. With the purchase of the laptop, NEC had promised to throw in a headset and speaker. At the point of purchase barely ten minutes later, they told me there is no more headset. No initiative to replace me with something else. being the thick-skinned me, I asked if they are going to replace it with something else. The girl was unhappy but suggested another speaker. I told her I've no use of another speaker and she literally ignored me. Though I would like to close the deal with the salesguy, seeing he had been most helpful, but I was put off by the attitude of the girl. When i told her I need to re-consider, she gave me a most irritated look and rolled her eyes. Excuse me?! You failed to deliver what you promised and as the customer, I have the right to reconsider. As a discerning consumer, I should demand for what is rightfully mine and not allow sales tactics to manipulate me. Thus, I finally settled for a Fujitsu LifeBook since it gave the best bargain. Though I would say that to close the deal, they can promise you bundles of add-ons as sales gimmicks but at the instant the customer signed on the dotted line, they retract most of them. That's poor service standard which Singapore has to really work on. Nonetheless, I still got a good buy. All thanks to Victor who thronged the crowds with me for more than 4 hours. *.^
