Complexity meets simplicity..
is my sensitivity getting the better of me again? let's just say i am disappointed with the way things are turning out and how they are being handled. but oh well.. what more can i do? i am in no position to do anything to salvage the situation and it is not within my control in any case.
second time eating at Megabites since its opening. it does taste better than that offered by the western food stall in Science canteen because at least it is not that oily and over-cooked. had grilled fish while Desmond had pan-fried salmon. both are yummilicious~ shall make it a point to eat there again. :p
star-gazing party was fun though the field was muddy after the rain. it was indeed worth the effort. who would have expected that Jupiter is so near that we can actually see it with our naked eyes? mainly because it's the largest planet in our solar system. and i got to see its 4 moons, the Scorpio and Saggitarius constellations just by staring hard enough. of course a telescope and a vivid imagination will do much wonders and reduce the strains on our eyes and neck. *.~
wootz! i'm surrounded by september babies. so far, i've been invited to 3 birthday parties for this month! and i have a feeling it's not all since 21 is such a special age. the great leap into adulthood! perhaps slightly over-rated but well.. everyone just celebrates because everyone else do that. Social Learning Theory? lol.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
star-gazing party tomorrow night at SRC field. i am sure it will be an eye-opening experience with new insights into the night sky. *.# which module gives you a chance to gain marks just for staring at stars and how many times have you ever take some time to have a proper look at the sky? *.*
wei's flying off on saturday morning.. cancelling all my tuitions so i can send her off. if not i will have to wait for decades to see her again. i know i will be missing her. ~_~
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
to my horror of horrors, i realized that the microsoft software used by the school is actually of the 2003 version! how outdated can that be? and so i almost died from heart failure when i found out that i could not print my lab report which was due by 5pm today. called almost everyone i knew and no one seems to have the 2007 version. thank God i finally found my saviour - Lionel. phew! thanks boy for helping me and i am sorry to have caused you much trouble. and also to the rest who offered help, thanks!
second lab session was unexpectedly short. only 6 hours spent with toxic and suffocating chemicals that poses hazards to our health (as quoted from the TA). everything went pretty smooth except i wounded myself again! from where i have no idea but somehow i cut my finger this time round. is it any wonder i have no intention to stay on in the chemical field and work in a lab? lol.
each day is a treasure box of gifts from God, waiting to be opened..
Saturday, August 25, 2007
lamenting over the loss of a friendship as if mourning the demise of a loved one. slightly exaggerated but i'm truly upset. because i know this is not the first time nor shall it be the last. defeated. dark storms lurked beneath a clear sky. just when you think that everything is going on fine and smooth-sailing, you realize it isnt so afterall. i guess life is just like that- full of uncertainties. perhaps i am just making a mountain out of a molehill (as usual) or perhaps i am just feeling burnt out. whatever it is, my mood has been and is significantly affected. still, life moves on. when life deals us with many trials, we just have to learn how to grow stronger with each one that comes our way.
sometimes i cant help but wonder if the problem lies with me. highly possible. i just do not seem to be able to sustain a relationship for long. overly-demanding character i presume. i tend to expect more from the other party as time goes by. i believe that a standard can only get better, if not maintained but never can it fall below. too idealistic? i'd rather say i care too much.. too particular and sentimental. i treasure each and every friendship forged. letting go may sound easy but it is not that simple. the rapport formed over a period of time is not something you can put down that easily because of the emotional attachment. i think with my kind of mentality, i am more suited to live in the ancient times. haha. a period when naiviety can be condoned and people do not question the intention behind kind acts. seriously i do not understand why. we are always doubtful and suspicious of well-meaning friends and picture them as people harboring evil thoughts and ulterior motives. perhaps our Asian culture taught us to be wary of other people which so often lead to misunderstandings. pure care and concern can be mis-interpreted. perhaps like what kynneth said, i'm too nice that's why i am experiencing this now. no idea if that's true though because it doesnt sound logical to me. i mean if i am a nice person, i should not be treated badly right? oh well... that's kind of childish thinking. anyway, thanks Kyn for providing me a listening ear! isnt it great that we are in the same boat now? lol.
all things come at a price.
Monday, August 20, 2007
first day of lab after more than 3 months. felt kind of rusty and things turned out disastrous as usual. cut my hand while stuffing ice cubes into the conical flask. ouch. now.. dont ever underestimate my strength ok? i can even break a glassware with my bare hands. haha.
organic experiments are always so taxing, with all the pungent chemicals that give me a terrible headache. initially thought first experiment should be quite easy only to realise it dragged all the way till 5?! roarz! didnt visit the washroom for 7 hours straight and not a single bite. famished by the time i walked out of the lab but had to rush for my tuition. lately i realised i have not been eating much because i am always out till late and i dont exactly fancy eating out all by myself. i guess i am still too reliant and conscious of others' opinions. i must really grow out of this mentality! we are not living for others but ourselves.
change in timetable. meaning my free days are now wednesday and thursday. no more long weekend but a mid-week break. lol. beginning to realise that my schedule is relatively relaxing apart from my 11 tuition sessions a week. waha.
was pleasantly delighted by my student. didnt expect her to think so well of me. no wonder she has been one of my longest student ever. i am quite an accomplished teacher afterall. =P
Sunday, August 19, 2007
life is full of pain. does it ever get any better? will people ever care about each other and make time for those who are in need? each of us has a part to play in this great show we call life. are you doing your part?
inspired. i must really try to be a person with better character in order to move to a whole new level. outward beauty is superficial. not that we should not dress ourselves up but we should strike a balance between our inner and outer selves. every day we should strive to be nice to people around us, care for them, meet their needs, this way, wouldnt the world be a better place? too idealistic? nope. i believe it is possible as long as each of us purpose in our hearts. in any way, mercy and kindness does not cost anything yet brightens another person's day. so why not be generous with them?
love. unconditional and powerful. it can even soften the hardest of hearts. to love someone who is easy to love is effortless. the greatest challenge is to love someone who has not treated you right.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
have you ever felt like the whole world has forgotten and forsaken you, when it seems like the only one who cares about you is you? i guess there are times when we just feel lonely and overwhelmed by our emotions. somehow, everything just doesnt go right and you cant help but wonder.. how nice it would be to have someone to share all your burdens with. still, that does not constitute a valid reason to get into a relationship. it may be tempting to find someone to fill up the emotional void in your heart but is it really justified? not that i am not guilty of entertaining such thoughts myself previously but ultimately i figured out that a relationship is a long term committment. you cant just get into one hastily without thinking it through. you need to first consider if you are ready for a committment. for me, i think i will rather remain single for now. mainly because being the insensitive me, i have yet to muster the skills of how to communicate effectively and how to even out the differences between man and woman.
it is a known fact that a man and a woman are structured differently and has different modes of communication and expression. hence, in order for a relationship to work out, there must be proper communication and mutual understanding. all these are not easy to achieve and easier said than done. nonetheless, i believe that as long as you purpose in your heart, you can do it. ^.*
another random post. school has just started but already some of us are feeling drained. to all who are feeling weary, in particular Kynneth, there is light at the end of the tunnel. you are not alone! we are all with you. cheer up k? though i think that sometimes being alone is not such a bad thing afterall. =P
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
watched Rush Hour 3 with my sister last night. 2 movies in a day i must be crazy! all because ks doesnt have time for my sister and so i was made the substitute. the movie was average -senseless humor and exaggerated stunts. i really dont know how to appreciate Jackie Chan movies.
first day of school today. almost couldnt wake up in time because it's been ages since i have a morning lecture. *yawnz* i dont even wake up so early for work. #.# dragged myself out from the covers at 630, dilly-dallied looking for my clothes. hence, was late by 30 minutes for my first lecture. oops.. but not that it mattered much because he wasnt really saying anything important before that. had breakfast at the Deck. i still prefer the old layout though. despite the poorer ventilation.
second lecture was fairly interesting. i have a feeling i am going to enjoy it despite it being a physics module. we will get a chance to go star-gazing! how cool! the galaxies and constellations never fail to intrigue me. mysteries of the outer space. !_! the subsequent 2 chemistry lectures were boring. the first one had so many students the lecture theatre was unable to hold all. think more than 20 of us were made to sit on the steps. bleahz.. last lecture was heavy. but it wasnt that bad because i had Peter to talk to me. though at times i would appreciate if he keeps quiet so that i can concentrate. oops. that's mean. next time shall sit beside alister instead. lol.
Monday, August 13, 2007
slept at 11pm last night as promised. woke up at 7am so that i can meet darling at 830 to see the doctor. in the end i was late still thanks to the long waiting time for the bus. thanks darling for accompanying and waiting for me!
watched Secret at GV Tampines Mall. i must say i still prefer cathay cineplexes. more comfy seats and the movie experience is definitely more superior than the old cinemas. ^.~ as for the show itself, it is considerably good, despite the amateur acting. should be categorized as a romance comedy i presume? quite some cheesy dialogue and the show ended with a twist. those who have yet to catch it but are intending to, please dont read on. i am going to be a spoiler and reveal the secret. hahaz. basically they are not siblings or relatives. 2 lovers trapped in a transdimensional love story. a romance brought together by music and torn apart by the constraints of time. ultimately, Jay travelled back in time to pursue his love, forsaking his father and all that he had. touching?
who do you want to be with at the very last moment of your life?
i think i am beginning to be accustomed to a life of solitude.
Friday, August 10, 2007
last day of work at SLA. it's incredible i have actually worked here for 2.5 months! my colleagues asked me what i have learnt so far. my reply was i learnt how to use ArcMap - the fundamental software needed in the making of the street directory. ahaz. not bad. a politically correct answer. ^.# actually one of the most valuable things i learnt is to be more observant to things around me, be it people or objects. use my heart to see instead of taking everything at face value.
i am ecstatic! finally bidded successfully for all my modules, meaning i will enjoy a sweet 3-days week! only need to attend lessons on tuesday and friday, full-day lab on thursday. lalala~ it didnt come cheap though. sacrificed 975 points for NM 2101 and 722 points for PC 1322. well.. i am already in my last year anyway. no point keeping all the points and put them to waste when i graduate right? hahaz. and of course it means my days in school will be pretty occupied. lessons start at 8am end at 6pm with a 2 hour break (likely to be spent at the Deck) on Tuesdays while for Fridays it is lessons all the way from 12pm to 6pm. woah! no time to visit the library. this semester must start to find mugging khakis already. lol.
now that my timetable is more or less finalised, i can start arranging my tuition schedule. basically it will be tuition everyday other than friday. my updated tuition schedule with effect from Monday, 13 August.
Mon - 1730 Thomson ; 1930 Pipit
Tues - 1900 Thomson
Wed - 1800 ; 1930 both Pipit
Thurs - 1900 Thomson
Sat - 0800 Serangoon ; 1030 Pipit
Sun - 1500 Tanah Merah ; 1900 Pipit
okay. now my week doesnt seem that free afterall. !_! still, feel free to ask me out, in particular for dinner or supper k? if you happen to be near any of my tuition location that is. (which explains why i posted my tuition schedule) hahaz. anyone fancy watching Disturbia or Secret?
looking forward to the new school term! so exciting~
Thursday, August 09, 2007
it's good to have no work and just relax. not counting the 2 tuitions in the morning, this year's National Day was actually quite fruitful and fun. gaming at Mind Cafe followed by tauhway, squeezing with the crowd to catch fireworks and finally dinner at V8! totally enjoyed myself in particular the fireworks display. it's a pity though that this time round the firewoks doesnt feel like they are falling all around me because we werent able to get pass the sea of people. still, i am satisfied i got a chance to see all the sparks bursting in the air, unobstructed, before raining down on us. woah! the purple ones are exceptional!
seeing the multitude of people, dressed in red and white, thronging the streets, i cant help but wonder.. are they really celebrating because they are proud to be part of Singapore? nonetheless it is still a good sight to behold. =) excitement sizzling in the air and everyone is in high spirits.
Happy 42nd Birthday Singapore! and it extends to all my fellowmen. May we have plenty of good years ahead!
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
it is the time of crazy bidding again! why is the timetable so screwed up this semester? class clashes.. exam date clashes.. all those modules that sound interesting to me are so near yet so far! okay. finally found a few that fits but the bid points are insanely high. why do they offer so few vacancies when it's only round 2A? 10 people vying for 3 seats?! i pray they will open up more vacancies in the subsequent round should i fail to secure a place this time round. if all goes well, i will get my monday and wednesday free! 3 days week! wahahaz
went shopping with my sister yesterday. signed for a Sharp 32-inch LCD tv and a NEC laptop. both totalled to over 3000 so i'm super broke now, need to pay off the installment in 1 year. loans and more loans to pay off.. bleahx..
met up with sr, clara and jy last night. supposed to be a PS gathering but well we are all busy people with lots of committment. nonetheless it was still a great time we had. had pasta at Creation at Shaw House. fairly good food and reasonably priced. the night was rounded up with dessert at my favourite cafe at liang seah street. double boiled milk! yum yum~
Monday, August 06, 2007
where you place your treasures, there your heart will be..
what you think is important and precious to you is what you will expend all your energy on. if your priority is your work, you will stake all you have and slog your whole life away. doesnt it sound sad? life is not just about accumulation.
lately i have been thinking. not the intellectual kind but just some random thoughts. why do people work so hard? they may have amassed great wealth but are they truly happy deep inside? all the riches gained at the expense of self-fulfilment. but who is to judge? different people have different priorities and definition of happiness. one man's meat is another man's poison. as long as you follow what your heart desires, you will live with no regrets. for me, i rather not gain the world and lose my identity in the process. i may have alot of money in my hands now but what use are they when i die? the departed has no use for this colored paper/plastic.
it is amazing how the slightest thing can evoke emotions within me. saw a loving, elderly couple in a bus last night and i thought: how nice it is to have a person to walk through this long, lonely road of life with, to share all your joys and troubles, to hold you when you are weary and moving on seems tough, to support and stand by you when it seems like the whole world is against you. not that i am yearning for love but i am really heartened to know that long-lasting marriages still prevail! it is a matter of finding the right person at the right time because at different stages of life, we have different expectations and needs. on top of that, there must be other elements like chemistry, common goals and mindsets.
i guess sometimes i do surprise people with the ideas that run through my head. i may not look like i bother, but in actual fact, i do. in particular, i frequently ponder about darker issues like the endtime and life after death. pessimistic? perhaps.
Friday, August 03, 2007
walked into the office sniffling because i caught a cold last night. it's funny how i am the only one in the family who can not withstand cold, even my niece is more hot-blooded than me. i think i am a cold-blooded reptile in disguise. hahahaz. anyway the office assistant asked if i want to see a doctor and i thought to myself: if i were to consult a doctor everytime i am down with flu, i will probably go bankrupt. lol. still, it was nice of her to offer her concern. ")
met Daniel for lunch. passed me the benefit illustration for my policy which should have been given to me 2 years ago. i dont exactly like meeting him because he always have an ulterior motive. still say he regards me as a sister.. duhz.. and it isnt any good that i always find it hard to turn people down. count the number of times i foolishly sign for something which i totally has no desire for. sigh.. i tend to succumb when people are so persistent and pushy so much so i am too tired to reject them anymore. as pointed out by yao long, my potential insurance agent, it is a pity there are such people around and i should not fall into these traps . i must learn to be firm! thank God i was strong today.
a man should never allow the lady to sit at the outer aisle. it just isnt right! nor should he offer a stool to the lady while he takes the nicely cushioned sofa. he may think that the sofa may be too low for comfort but the basic courtesy is to ask where she prefers to sit. be sensitive to her needs and not make any assumptions. now, that's what i call a true gentleman!
Thursday, August 02, 2007
this morning, i woke up and realised i miss home-cooked food terribly! *_# the last 3 months had been a frenzy - tuition after work almost everyday. by the time i reach home, it is too late for consumption of food. other times, i will be dining outside celebrating birthdays, meeting friends etc.. i hardly have time to sit down in front of the television and have a nice, leisurely meal at home. let's just hope when school starts, my life will get back to normal.
the love-hate relationship we share and are forever entangled in. deep inside, we know we care for each other yet we find it hard to look beyond all the past transgressions. are we destined to be tormented till the day we die? sadly it is so. mixed-up and torn apart until the day we break free from our bondage through mutual understanding and compromise.
i know that when this life is over, i'll see Your face
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
dismally our term break is coming to an end. not that my holiday was any more relaxing but i dont exactly fancy spending 1 whole day doing experiments in the lab. to my horror, i realized i have yet to do most of the things on my checklist! >_< been so busy with work and tuition i barely have time for my own stuff.. bleahz.. perhaps i will make use of week 1 and 2 since there will not be tutorials and lab.
i have successfully bidded for 3 of my core modules using 1 point each. all but 1 which cost a whooping 300 points! thank God it is my last year and i can afford to throw in high bids. now i just have to wait for round 2 to begin. i believe the demand for the 2 geography modules are not that high but one can never be too sure.
Tarja is meeting for badminton this evening but since i have tuition i will probably join them later for dinner. i think i shall skip my lunch break today so i can go for my tuition earlier. anyway, i am the only one left in the room with 3 of them on leave and 1 holidaying in HK today. i miss HK! a galore of good shopping and delicious food. i resolve to go there again someday.
time ticks by mercilessly and age creeps up on us stealthily. before you know it, you have advanced to another stage of your life. seize the day! there is no time to lose and no room for lamentation!
