Complexity meets simplicity..
i doubt i'm going to survive in uni.. somehow i've not been in the mood to go for lec.. probably been hit by some lazy bug? i juz realised there's so many smart ppl out there.. ppl whose cap are above 3.5.. which will onli makes things worse ba.. how m i ever going to make it to honours? lab session was quite a disaster todae. guess i muz be sleep walking ba.. mix the wrong pair of reagents.. bleahx.. luckily joyce n mi discovered our mistake early but.. we r still slower than the rest.. n y is it dat i can never get those perfectly pure crystals? mine alwaes seem to be filled wid impurities? sigh.. the cap 4.1 guy beside mi had such clear crystals! how envious.. but well.. i still lyk crystallisation more than any other experiments. cos the crystals obtained are so cool!
i tink i cant get over things easily.. does it mean i'm narrow-minded? probably. well.. something happened the other dae when i brought my niece out.. was happily pushing the stroller on the pavement when i came upon the edge to move onto the road. tink i muz be pea-brained cos i din reali took note of the incline. n rite there n then, my niece fall out from the stroller! n it took quite a while for mi to realise dat's my niece sprawled on the road. tink i took quite some time to register ba.. n she was crying lyk crazy.. quickly carried her n tried to pacify her. but she got a small cut on her face.. in the end managed to quieten her but i still felt so bad n foolish.. sigh.. so now every time i tink of her i'm reminded of her fall.. hope she'll forget about the incident soon n her cut heal quickly.. haix.. i'm not fit to be a mum.. next time i muz strap her carefully le.. not going to let it happen again.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
i dun tink i'm going to make it for honours le.. i'll need to get a cap of at least 4.3 this sem to barely make it.. n this is an average of B+.. sigh.. can onli blame myself for not studying last sem.. n i've skipped another dae of sch todae.. cos i'm juz too lazy to make my way there.. rather stay at home n rot.. which is not a very good thing either.. i seriously need a job cos the sch fees are going to be deducted soon.. but i cant seem to find any or maybe i should sae i dunno where to look from.. argh..
i love the glow-in-the-dark roses dat science is going to sell. it looks plain when under the light but when nite falls it luminates. wow~ 1 dozen for 20 bucks. not onli are they unique they r also cheaper than the fresh roses. hmmx.. but i cant possibly buy for myself rite? duhx.. so i guess i can onli see but no touch ba.. i rem j2 dat yr daniel bought roses for all the gers in the class but i dunno wat happened to mine? haha. well.. i guess this yr's gonna be another lonely valentines dae..
Monday, January 23, 2006
oh yes. i'm so proud of myself! i've finali managed to wake up in the wee hours n drag my lazy feet to sch. it's quite a feat considering how cold the weather has been these daes n how much of a pig i am.. well.. was 5 mins late though cos i juz cant decide wat to wear.. haha. n the lt was warmer than the weather outside. cos i tink the air con has broken down. barely 10 mins after i settled down the lecturer tot of cancelling the lec cos it's juz too warm.. excuse moi? i woke up early juz to attend the lec n i hafta rot for 4 hrs b4 the next one.. cancelling it isnt the right thing to do. it defeats the purpose of me coming to sch so early n endure 4 miserable hours wid nuthin to do. n luckily most everyone opposed it so he carried on. phew.
now having a 4 hr break.. yawnx.. i'm freezing in the lib alone.. siyun has gone for a 1hr tut n joyce had let mi down once again.. sigh..
i'm finali going to sell my genes n society text le. lalala~ finali going to get some cash.. i'm desperately in need of it rite now cos i've been jobless for 2 months.. god please drop some gold from heaven ba.. i need to get some new clothes n shoes..
Friday, January 20, 2006
watched the memoirs of a geisha last nite. din reali wanna watch it but turned out it's quite a good show. meaningful n thought-provoking. there's this particular interesting quote: the heart dies a slow death. shedding each hope like leaves until there are no more..
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
in the central library now. it's been months since i last came here.. the last time was during exams ba. anywae met up wid xiang, wei, qi, hui n lye at arts for lunch. din noe they'll be celebrating my birthdae. thanks gers! i'm reali touched n surprised.. i love the cake! reali grateful to u all. it's my first time cutting my own bdae cake in sch.
somehow i'm beginning to haf not a very good impression of engine guys.. maybe bcos of all the bad reputation they haf earned from my frens. n so todae when an engine guy beside mi started toking to mi during lec i wasnt exactly dat friendly. haha. at the end of the lec then he introduced himself to mi. joshua dat's his name. lolx anywae i dun tink i'll see him again la.. the lec group is so big lor..
i hereby pronounce my heart has died. a cold heart can still be warmed but a dead heart can never be revived.. maybe i had been deceiving others n myself all along.. perhaps i've been secretly hoping dat he'll do something to win my heart back.. but well.. he never did.. all his promise of love r juz crap! quoting from wei, i've definitely been an extremely stupid woman.
sometimes i feel drained.. after putting in so much effort for others but nobody seems to appreciate.. good surprises will never happen for mi.. maybe i'm juz too much of a loner.. dun reali haf much frens.. n i tink those dat i regard as a close fren might not feel the same way as i do ba.. sigh.. but at least i've nancy who called mi during the last 20 mins n accomapnied mi till my birthdae is over. thanks alot.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
i've officiali entered the swan's age. cant possibly prevent it might as well accept it in grace n pride. hAppIe 20th biRthdAe to myself! sounds pathetic but i guess i reali am.. stuck at home wid my niece.. anywae not lyk anybody's gonna celebrate it for mi too.. everybody is juz too busy wid their own stuff to go out wid mi. i guess i've been too much of a loner..
reali touched by lw. called mi at 12 on the dot to wish mi happie birthdae. somehow or other he's alwaes managed to be the first to call mi. even now dat he's in army he still makes an effort to call. was quite surprised dat he still remembered though. we've not kept in contact for months n the last time we met was almost 4 yrs ago le. reali grateful for his love n concern. but well.. some things r juz not meant to be ba..
wanna thank nai ma pat also. 2nd one to call. xie xie ni le! din noe he so you xin. haha. made mi laugh n shared my troubles. thanks for being a good mama! n the rest on my to-thank list r shaz, kent, shanz, jerlyn, joyce, kelvin, vincent, ru, hao, val, wei, xiang, daniel, hui n darling!! thanks for not forgetting mi!
Sunday, January 15, 2006
went to joyce chalet to celebrate her 21st bdae yest. had a lot of fun gossipping wid the rest. i tink it's the 1st time ever all the arlo gers r gathered together. took alot of fotos n fooled around. wei n i decided to form the single's club. haha. tink we r becoming les soon. hohoho.
were almost stranded at pasir ris.. reached the mrt at 1120 n the last train's gone? huhx? it's a weekend lehx.. n so we had to take the bus home.. by the time i reach home it's 12 plus lorx.. yawnx.. then toked to kent till 4? so tiring.. but it's a nice conversation. thanks for keeping mi company. :p
changed my hair colour le.. though not exactly the color i expected.. well.. at least now no more stained blood color le. haha. i'm back to my guai self wid dark hair. lol
Saturday, January 14, 2006
it's fri the 13th but we still decided to haf a 309 gathering. cos dun tink anything bad will happen n it's been ages since we last met up.. met up wid val first to get some stuff for joyce. had to get 21 presents cos she's turning 21! wow~ n so we shopped around bugis village n junction. after dat went to tamp to meet the peeps. we were 20 mins early n waited till we felt lyk we had grown roots.. finali the first one, zx reached at about 620.. called shanz juz to realise dat she n yee r already at tm.. so we made our way there.. since the rest will be late we decided to find a place n sit first. before the crowd gathers. decided on pizzahut since it's halal. had a good time laughing n joking around all thanks to zx. n also became the center of attraction when his glass went crashing towards the floor. woah! the whole restaurant was silent followed by some laughter.. tried to hide our face but couldnt since we r sitting in the middle of the restaurant. pity those ppl hu had to clear up the mess. after the big hoo hah we made our way to swensens for dessert. n by then ju had joined us. n so the 7 of us (shanz, zx, mark, yee, val, ju n mi) ordered earthquake! yummy~ took more fotos n chit-chatted.. had much fun catching up wid each other.. finali we left at 10+. wanted to be the last to leave. haha. n on my way back i met ru on the bus. woah.. she's been bbq-ed by the phuket sun. haha. btw thanks zx for being a gentleman. i reached home safe n sound in the end. haha.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
met up wid xiang after stats lec todae.. can onli sae the lecturer is kind of bo liaox.. if he can juz cut down on his unconstructive comments, i guess the lec will onli last 1 hr? but no.. he lyks to gif his 3 pence worth of opinions.. n i'm glad i've finali gotten a chance to go arts.. tink i wun haf much opportunity to go there cos i dun haf any arts mod this sem unless it's to meet up wid the rest.. but din reali get to see the ppl i wanna see.. so sad..
anywae i was quite upset yest.. i tink it's juz lyk a bad scene from a tv show turn into reality.. well.. they sae arts imitate life.. but i sae life imitates art.. can onli sae i'm deeply affected by the news.. tink it's gonna change how i tink in future.. y? n i tink i said quite a mean thing to my mum.. sorrie mummy. though i noe she wun get to hear it since she wun read this.. well.. but i juz cant help but blurt it out.. sigh..
Monday, January 09, 2006
feeling kind of irritated now.. do i look lyk a spare tyre or haf the words 'third party' written on my face? somehow or other i've never failed to fit into dat.. received an sms from jimmy yest.. okiex.. apparently he has someone new in his life now but yet he still tinks abt mi.. wanna noe wat's my feelings for him now? dun sae i'm being cold. if u've alreadi someone else now y do u still tink about the past? n does it matter now? anywae even if i lyk u it wun be possible btwn us le.. in fact the truth is dat i DONT. so plz dun try n include mi into the picture.. i'm not interested to be two-timed. period.
been whining to my sis the last few daes.. dat those guys r such scums.. they dun haf much determination n stamina in wooing a ger.. a few bumps n they concede defeat n move on to a new target.. where haf all the lornful waits disappear to? well.. i guess guys nowadaes r not dat patient.. so.. if i'm going to get into a relationship, i wanna find a guy hu reali understands n loves mi.. muz be willing to spend on mi.. doesnt mean i'm materialistic.. but sometimes u can see how much u mean to them by the efforts they put in.. however i've realised it isnt easy to find afterall.. cos i've realised many r a scrooge.. they r more willing to spend on themselves. miser! n so i tink i'm starting to lose hope le.. n my sis sae i might be turning homo soon? haha. well.. i wun dispel dat possibility.. if i keep meeting the wrong guys i might juz stray.. or perhaps i'll juz remain single ba.. n wid my attitude nowadaes towards those insensitive oafs.. i tink it's the best option for mi now.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
i love rainy daes! maybe bcos it has a soothing effect n sets mi in a dreamy mood ba.. haha. n it's purrfect for sleeping~ though i din exactly sleep in.. coz its sundae which is family dae.. so went for breakfast wid my family n then to the nursing home to visit my grandma.. sometimes i feel sad when i look at the old grannies there.. will i be lyk them when i'm old? so lonely.. i hope not.. if not i'd rather die early ba..
btw to all those 309 ppl hu reads my blog, PLZ keep this fri nite free k? coz we r gonna haf a reunion dinner at tamp. time would be 6 at tamp mrt control. as of rite now, ppl confirmed r shanz, darling n mi. hopefully we can hit 10 ba..
n to DOS ppl, can we meet up 1 of the daes this week to get joyce's 21st bdae pressie? lye suggested tues or fri.. plz confirm asap cos we need to get it by this sat. thankx.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
1st dae of sch todae. i can onli sae it sucks to go to sch on a sat.. n the classroom was so difficult to find though biz is a relatively small sch.. but at least the lesson wasnt too boring.. time juz sort of pass quickly.. n dat ends the 2.5 hrs lesson. phew..
was watching a taiwan variety show juz now.. then commented to my sis dat spore guys r not as romantic as taiwanese guys.. at least i've yet to meet any.. perhaps there r but they onli do sweet stuff for gers they reali lyk n those r usuali prettie gers? maybe i'm juz being too unrealistic to dream of having those fairy tale like love story.. those touching scenes onli occur in ou xiang ju.. as lye said b4 n now i'm beginning to agree wid her.. reminds mi of our conversation dat time.. topic is will u choose love or money? she said she'll choose money cos it brings happiness.. anywae there's no true love in this world.. hmmx.. i guess in a way it's true.. how many of us can actuali find true love? it's too idealistic.. might as well haf money in ur pocket.. at least it gives u more assurance n u wun hafta depend on guys.. indulge urself n pamper all those u love n care for. hu saes u wun be happie rite?
time reali flies.. i cant imagine myself turning 20 in 10 daes time.. argh!! i'm getting so old! but i'm still short n my tinking is still immature (or maybe i should sae not dat developed).. i dun need any present.. maybe i wun get any anywae.. i juz need money.. hopefully god can drop some from heaven for mi? lolx
n to 309 ppl, i'm tinking of an outing on next fri, the 13th. darling n i haf set it tentatively at tampines at 6. any violent objections pls voice it out. n pls try to spread the word around. most probably will be dinner n those hu wanna go elsewhere to chill can also do dat la.. hope to get ur response soon. plz try not to disappoint mi hor?
Friday, January 06, 2006
for some reason i'm juz not in the mood to do anything now.. was telling pat over msn n he was quite worried.. wanted to call mi n tok but i declined.. i juz feel lyk being alone. hey no worries k.. i wun go n die de.. i'm afraid of death one.. haha. btw sorrie gers i cant join u all for mj.. firstly it's abit far though singapore isnt dat big afterall.. secondly is i've to attend to some personal stuff..
anywae sch starts tml.. make up lesson for tues.. suddenli i dread going to sch.. maybe it's after seeing the lousy grades i gotten last sem dat makes mi feel this way.. suddenli chem doesnt seem dat interesting afterall.. neither does sch.. sigh..
was talking to nancy yest.. apparently she n he has gotten together.. they broke up at the same time as mi but had finali patched back.. anywae she's telling mi she's not sure if she reali lyks him.. cos she doesnt exactly gush n go all gooey.. my advice? i dunno also lehx.. maybe it's juz not her character to behave dat way or perhaps she reali dun love him dat much? actuali i guess she should juz try it out n if at the end of the dae it still doesnt work out then move on ba.. since she still haf some feelings for him now they might as well continue?
i guess it's human nature to compare? but i dun understand y some ppl lyks to dwell in the past.. i noe i'm being double-standard cos i do dat too.. but y should u hold on to the past when it juz brings ppl more misery.. n if u keep hanging on to the past n then comparing it wid the present.. u'll juz keep harping on it n create more troubles for urself.. maybe things din change but it's juz dat u begin to take things for granted.. things u used to tink r sweet becomes ordinary.. maybe we should all start to treasure the things n ppl around us? try to be more appreciative ba..
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
suddenli i feel emotionless.. lost all interest.. perhaps i'm juz too disappointed wid life.. so plz dun come n irritate mi now.. i may juz gif u a lashing.. almost lost my cool todae.. said i'm lucky dat i get to change my hp every few months. excuse mi?! it's not dat i'm being extravagant n i haf a choice rite? if u wanna change ur hp every few months u can jolly well do dat lorx.. dun even console mi instead agitate mi.. plz la.. i dun need dat coz i'm feeling pissed as it is now.. the 1 thing i hate most is sarcasm or dark humour. call mi a petty ger.
bought my new hp le.. din reali lyk the fone though i did tink it's not bad when it first came out.. w550i.. fat n bulky.. but the price was affordable so settled for it lor.. anywae i alwaes lose my things.. no use getting expensive ones..
sch's starting next week. successfully bidded all my modules.. though general bio was so costly.. now onli left wid 500 over points.. sigh.. n this sem i muz reali work hard le. cant keep pon-ing sch le..
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
i've enough things on my mind le.. do u hafta add it on? maybe we should haf juz ended it once n for all.. less pain n troubles.. maybe u can sae i've changed.. rite now i dun tink i'm ready to allow anybody to enter my life.. sae i'm selfish or unfeeling.. i juz dun feel anything now.. i'm numb.. after sun nite.. my heart is cold.. plz leave mi alone.. haf u ever feel lyk ur heart is chilled? yes i haf n am.. n i can tell u the feeling is nuthin but nice.. so now i've learnt to protect myself.. n the best way to do dat is to build a wall around mi n lock myself up.. i juz wanna be safe in my comfort zone.. will u deprive mi of even dat?
this is truly a bad start for a new yr.. not a good sign.. i hope it juz passes quickly.. perhaps next yr will be better..
Monday, January 02, 2006
i noe it sounds ridiculous but well its true la.. could barely sleep last nite.. cried till i've no more tears.. u peeps muz be tinking i'm crazy la.. but when u hit a patch as bad as mine u wun be surprised la.. not reali crying over my hp.. but over my own stupidity.. carelessness n unluckiness.. in addition it's the hapless feeling coupled wid the loss dat makes it worse la.. wanted to find someone to tok but no one can entertain mi.. sigh.. n so drifted in n out of sleep.. had a few dreams.. mostly those of my hp.. but when i wake up it's back to reality..
went to the police station early in the morning.. alone n wid puffy eyes.. cos i couldnt tell my parents n my elderst sis about it.. they will nag at mi which will onli make mi feel worse.. my 2nd sis is still sick.. so she cant go wid mi.. though i'm still feeling sick too.. been having this urge to vomit since yest morning.. guess its food poisoning.. n anywae back to the police report i made.. can onli sae i doubt i'll be as lucky as wei.. juz lyk the officer said.. unless they happen to chance upon the person hu committed a crime n she happen to carry the fone wid my imei no.. if not well.. the hp's most likely not to be found.. n so i tink i've made a wasted trip.. sigh..
Sunday, January 01, 2006
wat a bad way to start a new yr.. but well.. i guess god juz doesnt shower his blessings on mi.. i dunno since when i've been cursed.. its barely 4 months n i lost my hp once again! m i juz a scatterbrain or wat?! i guess no.. i tink i'm juz too suay.. but y does it alwaes happen to mi?? god has forsaken mi once again..
was at my bro in-law's fren's wedding.. dun even noe wat m i doing there.. i shouldnt haf been there in the 1st place.. went to the ladies n left my hp there.. walked back to the table then i realised but by the time i'm back it's gone.. please la.. it's lyk onli 2 mins n it's gone?! n i din even see anyone walking out.. asked the lady in the toilet but she said she din see it.. wat can i sae?! i cant call the police bcos it's a joyous occasion.. but how can those relatives be so greedy? now i reali wanna curse the woman who took my phone.. hope she'll become fat n ugly, outbreak of pimples.. the more evil stuff i shall not say here..
sometimes i feel dat i should juz not get a hp.. perhaps it's the wisest thing to do la.. n so ppl pls dun contact mi in the meantime.. if it's reali urgent then try my house lo..
i'm back from the esplanade n had a fantastic time juz now. though the crowd was quite a bit of a turn-off but i guess 1 of the things about countdowns is mingling in the crowd whereby everyone is walking back to front.. haha. anywae wanna comment about the countdown at marina bay. it was absolutely fabulous! as in the fireworks display n the foam balls in the river.. romantic wor~ lolx. i can onli sae i juz feel something special for fireworks? it's juz so amazing how some chemicals can produce such spectacular effects.. this time's display was much better than national day's. coupled wid the dancing lights n soothing yet dynamic music. it's an undescribable scene dat made ppl watch in awe. kudos to the guy who made it so successful. was reali impressed n immersed throughout the whole 5 minutes.. there were fireworks of vaious shapes n colours n i love the purple ones in particular. it's totally awe-inspiring to see the small flecks of residual sparks in the sky.. juz lyk millions of stars in the sky! then dropping down as if there is a shower of stars.. if onli the one beside mi is someone i lyk.. sigh.. went out wid val n darling in the afternoon. it's 1 of the rare times dat ppg gers get to meet up.. had a reali great time though din buy anything.. but i juz enjoyed the time we spent together.. catching up on each other's lives.. n now all 3 of us r happie singles. lalala~ sometimes i tink being single is such a blessing. though at times it is quite lonely? especially during festive seasons. haha lastly i wanna take this chance to wish everyone a great yr ahead wid bountiful harvest. let's look forward to better times n leave behind the regrets n failures. hAppie 2006~ cheers!!
