Complexity meets simplicity..
lamenting over the loss of a friendship as if mourning the demise of a loved one. slightly exaggerated but i'm truly upset. because i know this is not the first time nor shall it be the last. defeated. dark storms lurked beneath a clear sky. just when you think that everything is going on fine and smooth-sailing, you realize it isnt so afterall. i guess life is just like that- full of uncertainties. perhaps i am just making a mountain out of a molehill (as usual) or perhaps i am just feeling burnt out. whatever it is, my mood has been and is significantly affected. still, life moves on. when life deals us with many trials, we just have to learn how to grow stronger with each one that comes our way.
sometimes i cant help but wonder if the problem lies with me. highly possible. i just do not seem to be able to sustain a relationship for long. overly-demanding character i presume. i tend to expect more from the other party as time goes by. i believe that a standard can only get better, if not maintained but never can it fall below. too idealistic? i'd rather say i care too much.. too particular and sentimental. i treasure each and every friendship forged. letting go may sound easy but it is not that simple. the rapport formed over a period of time is not something you can put down that easily because of the emotional attachment. i think with my kind of mentality, i am more suited to live in the ancient times. haha. a period when naiviety can be condoned and people do not question the intention behind kind acts. seriously i do not understand why. we are always doubtful and suspicious of well-meaning friends and picture them as people harboring evil thoughts and ulterior motives. perhaps our Asian culture taught us to be wary of other people which so often lead to misunderstandings. pure care and concern can be mis-interpreted. perhaps like what kynneth said, i'm too nice that's why i am experiencing this now. no idea if that's true though because it doesnt sound logical to me. i mean if i am a nice person, i should not be treated badly right? oh well... that's kind of childish thinking. anyway, thanks Kyn for providing me a listening ear! isnt it great that we are in the same boat now? lol.
all things come at a price.
