Complexity meets simplicity..
i guess there r guys who make good bf around afterall.. perhaps 1 in a 1000? hmmx.. wat constitutes a good bf u may wonder.. well.. in my humble opinion.. he must meet the following
1. dote his gf. doesnt mean hafta lavish gifts on her everydae.. but at least once a month.. dat's not too much to ask for rite? in the non-material aspect, i guess it will be words of care n concern.. n i believe those spoken straight from the mouth will sound more sincere than over the fone n worse till over the sms.. sms alrite but sometimes juz reading it n not hearing it doesnt offer much comfort..
2. exudes gentlemanly behaviour. holds the door for her, helps to carry heavy stuff but dat doesnt mean lady's handbag.. n most importantly send her home. regardless of how out of the way it is.. sadly.. it seems like guys nowadaes no longer does dat.. from wat i observed of my frenz.. sigh..
but well.. all's not lost yet.. cos i've found at least a guy who meets the above criteria.. so perhaps there's still a minority of these ppl yet to be uncovered. my bro-in law's bro is a classic example. he dotes on his gf n alwaes send her home.. even when they r at his house, he makes it a point to send her home.. unlike other guys who will juz ask u to make ur own way home..
but well.. i wonder when will i find one hu treats mi rite? sigh..
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
wondering wat happened to my tag board.. tink i need to get a new one? cos this one alwaes seem to be down.. sigh..
looked up the yellow pages to source for a new nursing home for my grandma.. but all of them the prices seem quite steep? now i'm beginning to understand how these homes can earn quite alot? more than 1k a month for basic lodging n dat excludes diapers which cost 1.20 per piece n a doctor's fee of 50 bucks each month? n so it adds up to approx 1800 per month?! went to visit 1 at joo chiat there n was horrified! the place is so squeesy wid beds chucked here n there at weird corners.. not onli is it quite unsightly.. there's also a strong intolerable stench.. of urine n watnot.. sometimes it juz chills my heart to see those elderly living in such conditions.. sigh.. i guess sometimes ppl juz fail to see dat there r others out there hu needs their help.. we r juz too preoccupied wid ourselves.. anywae.. juz wanna ask if anyone has got any recommendations for nursing home? need to find asap for my grandma.. pls tell mi if u noe.. thanks!
anywae went out wid my eldest sis juz now.. went bugis again.. well.. dat's the most convenient place for us.. tried the levi's denim skirt n tink it's quite nice.. though the price is nice too.. no discount cos it's new arrival.. n dun tink there will ever be too cos the lady said engineered pieces wun be entitled to discounts.. so sad.. wait till i save up ba..
was tinking about new year resolutions yest.. then i realised those i set this yr were all not fulfilled.. actuali makes mi wonder wat's the use of setting those goals when i'm not bothered to accomplish them? maybe i juz lyk the feeling of setting unrealistic goals? haha.
cant believe 2005 is coming to an end so soon.. i've still yet to do alot of things.. n i'm reaching the swan's age in a couple of weeks.. sigh.. i'm not a ger.. not yet a woman.. this is wat i suddenly feel.. guess ru also feel the same? btw when r u going to phuket? let's meet up b4 u go off k?
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
i wonder if u peeps ever haf this sense of loss? a feeling dat everything is not wat it has alwaes been.. lately i've repeatedly experienced these pangs.. things juz keep surfacing n i begin to wonder.. maybe all along i've juz been surpressing n resisting.. trying hard to ignore the fact dat things r no longer the same n will never be? sigh.. eveything n everybody's changing but i still feel the same.. its beginning to dawn on mi dat nuthin is eternal..
went out wid my 2nd sis todae.. she called in sick so she's on leave todae.. been a long time since she went shopping wid mi cos she's juz too busy wid other ppl.. n wid my strong persuading power i managed to coax her to go out wid mi cos i'm juz too bored at home.. n we went to bugis since it's juz 2 roads away. haha. bought a pair of jeans though i'd reali lyk to buy the one from levi's.. but well.. my finances rite now does not permit mi.. can onli wait till i'm earning big bucks? sigh.. rite now i wanna buy a bag.. dat's all i need.. but yet to find any dat catches my eye..
lately i found dat i'm beginning to hate free incoming calls.. though i also enjoy it.. but i dun lyk the fact dat guys expect mi to call them juz bcos they haf free incoming service.. excuse mi? i'm not the one going after u all.. y do i hafta pay to keep u company over the fone? duhx.. hate these kind of guys.. so cheapo!
Monday, December 26, 2005
tml is the start of the most dreaded period of uni life again.. it is the beginning of nitemares.. a war of wits.. a decision dat will affect mi for the next 6 months.. it is the time of bidding again.. argh!! this time i muz reali choose my modules wisely n not be as blur as the previous time.. cos next sem i muz reali work doubly hard to improve my cap..
okiex.. i've juz realised i've been tagged.. by wei.. okiex.. n so here it goes..
1. I like to chit chat n share intimate moments wid frenz in small groups..
2. I am quite gullible n naive.. (the other dae i was tokin to my sis n she confirmed this.. haha) i may look like ah lian but i'm actuali quite traditional n conservative..
3. I enjoy the feeling of admiring someone.. though ppl will sae it's better to be loved than to love.. but its alwaes things dat r harder to possess dat u'll treasure more.. haha
4. My dream is to stay in a big house n earn big bucks.. money is akin to status.. without it there r many things which u lose entitlement to..
5. I like guys who r homely.. will do sweet things n spring surprises( maybe not every dae la..).. n most importantly muz not be too gropy( is there such a word? i hope there is. lol)..
for those of u who dunno wat this is all about.. its something like a thread which u are supposed to say five things about urself n then name five people whom u wanna noe more about n tag them. (copied n edited from wei. lolx)
n the list of ppl whom i've carefully selected:
val
shan
darling
jerlyn
ru
Friday, December 23, 2005
juz checked my results.. my gosh.. is as lousy as i expected.. well.. cant blame anyone actuali.. din reali study cos hafta look after my niece.. n also hu ask mi alwaes pon lec.. so got average C.. sigh.. n my cap is lyk shit.. 2.7.. sigh.. i'm so screwed la.. dun tink i can make it to honours liaox.. sigh.. but quite disappointed wid 1 of my modules.. basic inorganic chem.. i got c for dat?! my lab making up 20% is average A n tests making up 10% r lyk above average.. n the paper was quite alrite i'd sae.. other than the blunder i made by answering in the answer booklet when they said to answer in the paper itself.. how izzit i end up wid such a lousy grade?!! argh!! but the rest i've got nuthin to sae la.. but this i reali feel indignant..
Thursday, December 22, 2005
had a great time wid the gers yest.. met up wid xiang first cos lye n wei cant make it so early.. since we din reali haf anything in mind, we juz wandered about aimlessly.. then both of us realised we need to get some bottoms.. so we went to look for jeans.. in particular those branded ones.. since cannot afford it now we can jolly well try it.. lol. n i muz sae it's reali 'u pay for wat u get'.. those offered by guess, levi's n zara reali feels much more comfy than their cheaper counterparts wid no fame.. but well.. lyk i said earlier.. those i can onli try but not buy.. until the dae i earn big bucks ba.. or when i marry a rich man n be tai-tai.. saw alot of those tai-tais yest.. they r very generous in their spending n doesnt seem to tink twice in swiping their cards.. well.. can onli sae i admire them ba..
after window shopping for some time, met up wid wei n lye.. saw the new guess bag dat lye bought.. wow~ it's a pretty pink bag dat definitely looks elegant.. n it cost onli 75? wat a good snatch! walked around a while more then decide to find a place n take a rest.. settled for marche n 3 of us shared a banana waffle(yummy).. lye doesnt haf much of an appetite.. n it's all bcos of some jerk.. some guys juz lyk to take things too personally.. n hu doesnt want to spend more time wid their other half? 3 times a week is dat too much to ask for? though now they r onli meeting once a week n he finds it stifling? duhx.. i'd die if my other half is lyk him.. prefering to sleep rather than spending time wid mi.. n xmas he's not spending wid her?! i tink it's most ideal to spend the 1st yr wid ur other half.. a home-cooked meal(by him of cos!) or a dinner at some restaurant will be excellent.. then subsequent yrs can include frenz n family lyk having a party will be good.. but dat's onli applicable when i haf an ideal half.. lolx. this yr i'll juz be spending wid my da jie.. gonna watch king kong since she's a pair of gold class ticks. well.. it's not dat bad cos xmas is all abt speding wid ur loved ones~
gonna get back results tml.. i onli wish i'll pass all.. dat's my xmas wish this yr.. n also perhaps money will drop from above so i can change my lousy fone to 6111? well.. it's juz a wish anywae. lolx
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
spent a 2nd nite at my sis house.. last nite was quite a terror unlike the dae before which was quite peaceful.. the baby kept waking up in the middle of the nite.. then i'm lyk in a semi-conscious state n hafta feed her.. n it is no easy task bcos she drinks very slowly.. drink abit then doze off.. takes about half an hour juz to finish 2 oz.. imagine sitting there carrying the baby wid eyes half closed.. sigh.. i'm totali shagged now.. i can juz picture myself when i haf a baby next time.. it's such an intimidating tot.. at least my sis now still haf mi to help.. feed, carry, bathe n coax.. next time i doubt my sis will be so free cos she'll hafta look after her own kid..
daffodil is growing smarter by the dae.. alot of gibberish which i cant make out.. but she sure makes alot of noise. maybe she's gonna learn to speak soon?
meeting up wid the gers tml.. gonna go shopping at town.. yeah~ we can finali meet up again.. though it's juz the usual 4 of us again.. lye, wei, xiang n mi.. but well.. can onli hope the rest will be free the next time round..
Monday, December 19, 2005
spent the nite at my sis house.. she made mi sleep on the floor cos the bebe n her sleeping on the bed then wait i squash little daffodil.. not dat i mind cos i'm quite used to lying on the floor.. buden woke up this morning wid a sore neck n aching shoulders..
met up wid jimmy last nite for dinner.. after dat walked back to my house there the 'garden'.. it's been lyk a decade since i last went there i guess? okie lor.. its quite windy there but the scenery is not dat fantastic.. anywae nobody goes there for sight-seeing.. juz for chilling n chit-chat ba.. i tink he's nuts cos he held my hands in his.. ehx.. i tot we were juz frenz lehx.. maybe i'm juz not firm enough.. so things got out of hand.. made mi feel bad the whole nite.. anywae wanna thank him for getting mi a xmas present.. though i'm not sure if it's too big or small for mi.. haha. cos the design lyk quite weird.. or maybe it's juz mi..
i wanna get the new panasonic hp.. either SA5 or VS7.. esp the latter cos i lyk its casing.. lolx. buden i'll hafta wait till the price drop? n also another 9 mths for my contract to be eligible for the 21 mths upgrade? argh.. or i can wish dat it drops from the sky.. haha
did some tests juz now.. the results will be at the 'about' section.. some parts are cut off.. to read the full text juz highlight the text n move either right or left..
Sunday, December 18, 2005
went shopping yest at orchard n ps.. finali i've gotten 2 more presents.. 1 of them is for dear.. cos it's become a habit for us to exchange xmas presents since we noe each other.. had a hard time choosing n deciding cos there's juz too many things to choose from.. next yr she's 21 le.. need to get her a big present, perhaps a swatch watch? so i'll need to start saving up le..
saw a pair of ballerina-like shoes from urs.. very nice but the price is nice too.. it'll set mi back by approx 50 bucks, though not alot but then i'll haf less to spend on presents le.. so.. i can onli see but not buy.. sigh..
i need to get some more presents.. maybe 1 for my sis n her bebe.. but then i cant find someone wid similar tastes as mi to go shopping wid.. wei n xiang haf quite different preferences.. dear is more into less feminine stuff.. val n shanz quite about the same but bothe of them lyk quite bz? then go out wid the guys also feel restricted.. sigh.. i can onli wait for my sis ba.. next week is her hols.. but then we'll hafta bring the bebe out too..
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
juz bought my new bed n it cost mi a bomb! spent about 500 though i'm onli occupying half of the bed.. dugged into my savings n now i'm dissaving.. anybody can get mi a job dat can pay mi big bucks?
went for a job interview juz now.. though i wun sae it is an interview.. there's alot of ppl there lyk mi but onli 1 guy in charge.. asked us to write down our name, contact no n highest qualification.. i wonder how r they going to shortlist us based on these?! seems a weird notion.. there goes my hope of hitching a job.. sigh..
anywae went out wid dear on mon.. met at town n walked around looking for xmas presents.. in the end juz managed to find one.. hmmx.. seriously haf no idea wat to buy.. cos there's the problem of budget too.. n i also wanna get a new bag for myself. waiting for lye's own-made ones to be launched.. lye, faster k? anywae anybody wanna go out on xmas eve?
Friday, December 09, 2005
went to lye's house todae.. though there was supposed to be a house outing at sentosa.. but cos we r quite broke now n hafta go for wallet slimming so we opted for our own mini outing.. there's wei, pat, hui n of cos lye.. started off playing mahjong though hui never plae cos she dunno the game.. n given my suay luck.. i won quite some games.. dat's juz mi.. as long as no money is involved i'll win.. haha.
had lye's special recipe potato salad which is totally yummy~ though it's quite fattening wid bacon n butter n high carbo potato.. so after dat lye n mi played badminton for about 1 hr.. though it's short but it was fun. i wanna play again next week.. i seriously need to lose weight.. perhaps 3 kg cos the other dae this person said i'm overweight! argh.. i need to go on diet le.. but so far none seems to help.. anyone has any advice?
Thursday, December 08, 2005
sometimes i feel dat my life is reali a disaster waiting to happen.. it is the worst thing dat can ever happen.. nuthin interesting ever occurs.. n it seems lyk there's nuthin meaningful in my life.. everyone around mi is leading fulfilling n enriching life.. wat about mi? i'm juz a nobody without a social life.. all my life has gone by wid nuthin i can boast of.. perhaps i should try to do something to bring sparks to my life.. but wat can i do? i'm juz a boring person without the courage to pursue my interests n to be confident of myself.. sigh.. maybe i'm suffering from low self-esteem ba.. but dat's juz the way i've been.. attributed to my upbringing.. seems lyk i'm wallowing in selfpity.. guess i hafta do something to make my life rite.. but sometimes circumstances does not seem to permit so.. i'm juz gonna end up a failure in life..
has anyone ever wondered wat it's lyk to die? i've alwaes been tinking how does it feel lyk to die.. will i feel pain? fear? my sis told mi i'll be tinking of my past life.. if it's meaningful, i'll die peacefully wid a smile.. if it's regretful, i'll die sadly n in remorse.. i wonder how i'll feel then? n wat will happen to mi after i leave the world? will i haf any more feelings? will i go to heaven? as a christian i'm supposed to believe there's heaven n dat's where i'll be when i'm gone.. but i m doubtful of dat too.. maybe i'm not a convicted christian ba.. cos i'm afraid of growing old.. afraid of dying.. n it doesnt seem to help dat i'm growing older by the dae.. sigh..
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
kind of lazy to blog.. but then there's nuthin for mi to do also.. cos bebe's sleeping now.. i guess i can reali go n be a nanny in future.. i wanna go out.. but i guess i'm onli free on weekends now.. but then weekends are usuali the times when ppl hafta spend wid their other half.. n so i'm left all alone.. sigh..
gonna get a xmas present from nus on the 23rd.. of all daes it muz be juz before xmas.. hopefulli it wun be too bad a gift.. but i'm not pinning too much hope..
i wanna get a new hp cos mine is lyk super lousy lorx.. though there's the veri cool lights.. but there's no blue tooth nor infra red.. so i cant share files wid my com or other ppl.. argh.. but i haf another year to go before my contract ends.. but actuali it's not a matter of the contract but also the money needed.. i'll need to find a job cos my savings are depleting.. anybody haf any lobangs? as long as the pay not lower than 6 i'm willing to take it up.. or anyone has relatives dat need tuition?
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
passed by 4 seasons hotel on my way to my sis house.. suddenly was reminded of him.. realised i kind of miss him.. though i tot i've erased him from my memory.. but apparently i've not been successful.. i guess sometimes it's not about having a failing memory when u forget a person.. it's more of whether u wanna forget the person.. if u r willing to let go.. there r things u can forget n those u cant.. it's juz a matter of the will to cast it aside n allow it to be buried.. maybe u tot u've gotten it out of ur system but some time later.. u may find dat it's alwaes been there.. juz like those memories of him..
those were the most treasured daes of my life.. though i doubt he felt the same way.. i miss his humour n his gentlemanly acts.. but i guess i'll never be able to feel dat way again now dat we've gone our separate ways.. our paths will never cross again n i can onli rely on those moments we had.. but i'm still thankful dat i got to noe him.. though it is painful dat the times we shared were short.. can sae i'm easily contented?
baby-sitting the whole dae.. bebe daffodil quite notti.. noe hu she can bully n hu she cant.. dun wanna sleep when i'm taking care of her.. spoil her too much liaox.. next time muz be more stern wid her le.. n now my life seems to revolve around her.. sigh..
Monday, December 05, 2005
went out wid nancy todae.. shopping at wisma.. not bad cos i've gotten 3 tops for myself! i cant wait for zara's sale cos i saw quite a few nice stuff there.. anywae retail therapy reali works. in a way it took our minds off certain unhappy stuff.. n we tok about the happie times we had in secondary sch.. those were the daes dat i missed so much.. though some of the things i've forgotten.. thanks to my sieve-lyk memory.. but those r reali nice images though we were abit toot then? haha.
tml is the start of my nanny job.. though i'm not paid.. sigh.. hafta help my sis look after bebe.. she's getting cuter by the dae n turning 1 mth soon! but she's getting nottier too.. alwaes pulling my hair n trying to climb all over mi.. i guess soon she'll be able to roll on her own? btw anybody haf any nursery songs or wat? i need new songs to sing for her..
Sunday, December 04, 2005
i'm so happie for wei. lucky her!! found her hp finali. i'm reali impressed by the police! they managed to find her hp which was lost at bugis village. according to the news, it was a syndicate comprising of 11 foreigners.. guess i'll hear the full story from her on fri? our mahjong cum badminton session. yeah~ i cant wait..
tml meeting up wid nancy.. retail therapy~ lalala~ guess both of us need it cos we r newly declared singles. haha. so coincidental we broke up on the same dae. haha.. but i guess mine is reali quite a complicated n unfinished business.. wanna noe wat happen hafta ask mi in person cos it's juz too complicated..
gonna be nanny for the whole of this week.. sighx..
