Complexity meets simplicity..
i'm so tired now.. tired of explaining things from my perspective.. tired of bearing so much pain.. why izzit dat the whole world seems to tink i dun lyk him in the first place? yarx.. it's true dat we got together quite quickly since we first met.. but dat doesn't mean i din tink it over before accepting him.. in fact i can sae dat i din plunge in blindly but it's after much consideration. sadly.. nobody seems to believe it cos i dun seem to be very excited about the whole relationship? well.. wat can i sae? i may seem nonchalent but hu noes wat reali goes on within mi? so.. i'm juz not going to explain to anyone else anymore as this shall be my last.
okiex.. first of all ppl muz be wondering y i'm so upset? it's a fact dat i've accepted him despite our age difference so means i shouldn't be so concerned about him being younger since there's no communication problem. i'm not so bothered about the fact dat's he younger.. but it's bcos he lied to mi.. everyone keep telling mi dat it's juz a white lie n it's bcos he love mi dat's y he did dat.. maybe it's juz my weird tinking.. but i reali cant accept the fact dat he lied to mi.. n it's even before we r together.. now it's a matter of principle.. if u noe u wun lyk this characteristic in ur partner, then this person comes along n pretended dat he/she is not lidat. 2 of u got together n then u found out dat he/she actuali had dat characteristic, wat will u do? u'll accomodate n juz pretend nuthin was wrong? ya rite.. if it's dat easy. but can u guarantee u can fully trust him/her again?
u ppl advise dat i should give him the benefit of the doubt.. when i sae no i cant, u ppl sae i dun lyk him dat's y.. i'm juz so exasperrated.. nobody understands mi n even says the fault lie wid mi.. maybe u can sae i'm petty but now i feel dat i dunno if he's the one i knew in the first place.. n it's not lyk he understands it anywae, nor does anyone else.. so juz call mi a weirdo but i'm entitled to my own tinking rite? now i also dun expect anyone to acknowledge my tinking but watever la.. dun try to conclude dat i got into a relationship any-oh-how dat's y it ended up lyk this.. i've tried my best despite appearing to be bo-chup in front of u ppl.. i may not show it but as long as he noes n feels it can le.. anywae it's between the 2 of us.
i'm feeling kind of suffocated.. he doesnt seem to trust mi.. whenever i go out he wanna noe hu i went out wid.. even when i stay in sch to study he feels uneasy.. shouldnt he gif mi the benefit of the doubt too? i noe i should put myself in his shoes but y izzit dat he cant feel secure about mi even in sch? it's not lyk i'll question him about the gers in his office..
now.. i guess i juz need sometime alone to concentrate on my exams.. i shouldnt let it affect my studies..
