Complexity meets simplicity..
finali my shift is coming to an end.. was basically stoning during the past 3 hours or so.. though there's this senior cso sitting beside mi.. we din even converse once.. perhaps i'm invisible? well.. nvm. it's not a big deal anywae.. i juz took this opportunity to read my past entries.. read from the very 1st one n was halfway through.. then realised i mentioned alot of mystery ppl whom i can't identify now.. so farnie.. now that i tink back.. i can't reali remember who i used to lyk.. lolx. maybe it'll also be the case this time next yr.. i wun even recall who's the him i'm currently carrying a torch for? lolx. guess it's highly possible, considering how bad my memory is.. gotta go le.. tataz~
last dae of my work at ocbc for this week then it'll be a long break ahead. having both sun n mon off. lalala~ btw received bad news todae.. assignment at ocbc coming to an end on the 13th of may.. apparently our service is no longer needed as the call volume is too low.. they would be wasting their expenses hiring free-loaders? guess i need to look for other jobs le? sigh.. will miss my daes here.. n most likely wun haf chance of seeing chocolate le..
guess there's basically nuthin more to update.. having a 2e reunion on sun.. haven reali decide if i wanna go? will see how le..
Thursday, April 28, 2005
2nd time i'm typing this.. already feeling kind of low liaox then the server muz make it worse.. utterly disappointed and depressed right now.. interview at nus faculty of science was a major disaster. can't believe i'm such a klutz.. i actuali blew my chances by being so ill-informed.. shall fill u ppl on wat went on during the 15 mins or so.. in future u all shall haf better insight..
first thing when i entered the room, was introduced to a panel of 2 interviewers. #1 mistake i made was to shake only 1 of the gentlemen's hand.. sigh..
then came the unmerciless questions that only seem to magnify my ignorance. asked mi wat course m i applying for.. answered chemistry. reason? cos i'm interested in chem. duhx.. how intelligent can my reply be? probed further as to y the particular interest.. left mi totally speechless, unable to come up wid an answer.. well.. how am i supposed to explain? it juz came naturally mahx.. thankfully they left it at dat seeing dat i'm unable to come up wid a valid reason.. then asked mi how much do i noe about nus? i was completely taken aback.. i din do any research.. managed a feeble response dat i onli noe it is the #4 university.. (n it was wrong! it's #18).. duhx.. 1 of the guy was lyk saying "u wanna come to this sch but u noe nuthin about it?" well.. wat can i sae? i'm not here to learn nus history am i? tried to make an excuse by saying i do not noe ppl from nus.. mj being a new sch n no seniors to learn from.. then asked mi if i read? stuttered and stammered.. it's been ages since i last touch a book.. sae i watch tv mostly.. guess their impression of mi is getting worse by the minute. then asked if i read the news? yar, during my work lorx.. n so they asked mi wat's my take on the setting up of casino? told them i'm all for it.. in the economic point of view.. wat wid more jobs being generated n all.. n perhaps i'll be able to get a job there? he shoot back n sae:" u study chem then u wanna work in a casino?" made my mind go blank again.. then blabberred some nonsense lyk perhaps i can use chemistry to attract tourists? u noe lyk magicians? another 'smart' answer from mi.. bolted them into laughter.. then asked mi wat's my social perspective on this matter? gave an incoherent case to argue for.. contradicting myself n all.. sigh.. i tink my brain is reali in a mess lorx.. wat was i even tinking of? can't even express myself properly.. subsequently asked if i've gotten any reply from ntu n whether i'll take up the offer.. replied i would still consider nus as my ideal sch n even if i can't get into science i'll opt for arts n social science.. dat's so 'smart' of mi again.. i'm actuali giving them the idea dat i wun mind being offered my 2nd choice? another Big mistake i made was at the end of the interview.. din shake their hands.. i noe i should.. but they were juz sitting there n i found it difficult to extend my hands.. argh! i tink i should reali bang my head against the wall.. so well.. there goes my dream of getting into my #1 choice.. bye nus~
guess i'm feeling better now.. basically gorging myself wid chocolates.. wid 1 whole slab of cadbury choc and encouragements from val n him made mi feel much much better now.. asked mi to be more optimistic. i sure wish i can.. anywae thanks for all ur support. :P hopefully he reali meant it when he said to meet up when free?
interview at sistic was quite a breeze. though now i'm seriously contemplating the prospects of working there.. not exactly very appealing i'd sae.. so will see how first.. lyk val said.. i muz tink thrice.
if only i'm ur girlfriend,
i'll treasure u..
if only i'm ur girlfriend,
i'll treasure u..
if only i'm ur girlfriend,
i'll love u 4ever..
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
kind of lazy to blog todae.. but then there's nuthin for mi to do at work currently. so well.. here i am. dun reali wanna bore ppl wid the mundane things in life.. anywae work was as usual.. except for val's absence. she's got diarrhoea.. poor thing.. muz take care hor.. anywae got scoldings here n there.. cursed under my breath a few times. dat's how boring life gets..
feel abit jittery about my interviews tml, esp dat at nus. dun reali noe how to find the venue.. it's at some blk s16.. guess i need to go earlier to find the place myself.. cos apparently glenn would not be so nice as to offer to show mi the place. n dat's when i realised i do not noe anyone else from nus.. sad case.. pray dat my interview will be successful tml. keeping my fingers crossed.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
yawnx.. i'm still feeling tired.. met up wid xy after work to kill the 4 hours break we have. so we went to mac to grab a bite. felt sleepy after eating so we decided to take a nap. dozed off for half an hour.. in btwn was woken up by the staff clearing the tables. maybe dat's their way of hinting us to make a move? but we din bother ourselves wid them. we r paying consumers rite? anywae when we were leaving, the guy working there bid us good bye. perhaps he's saying good riddance to us?
anywae got a call during lunch time. a guy from sistic asking if i'm still interested in the job. muz commit for 3 mths. told him should be ok. arranged an interview for mi on thurs. asked about the renumeration. about 6 an hour.. hmmx.. tink it's quite low paying. but well.. i dun mind a change in working environment. most likely wun get as much nasty ppl than in DOS. afterall, ppl who appreciate art should be more refined?
after lunch, got another call. from nus faculty of science. informed mi to go for an interview on thurs too. details muz check email then noe. anywae, tink i dun haf much chance.. cos apparently those wid better grades have no need to go for interview? sigh..
reading my past posts. chanced upon this entry. Sept 19 2003. the 1st poem 'That Feeling' reali speaks to my heart. wonder if anyone else shared the same sentiment as mi? the desire of true love to come..
the last 2 sentences
Juz open up n let love soars
your dreams juz may come true
more often than not, it's easier said than done..
Monday, April 25, 2005
another dae of working by myself.. guess i'm starting to get used to a life of solitude? or i can say i'm getting independent.. i used to dread going out alone.. it feels so weird when everyone else has company. but well.. here i am working alone. guess i've grown up without me myself knowing it.
back to update on my date wid dear on sat. went to mushroom pot at OG orchard point. in the end turned out is paper steamboat not paper sushi. misunderstanding on my part. anywae it is a vegetarian restaurant, which i onli realised after i went home n told my sister. guess i'm quite slow ah? lolx. btw the food there is quite nice n reasonably priced. serving portion is quite huge too. after lunch, we went shopping. i bought a bag n dear bought a t-shirt n 3 quarter pants. after dat we passed by this accessories shop n were captivated by this pair of rings. so we decided to buy them. to our dismay, the sizes left for that design are either too big or too small.. argh!! so disappointing. determined to get a pair of rings together, we went around looking at different shops. finali, we settled for a pair at bits n pieces n also engraved our initials on it. :P
btw we saw chew chor meng and fiona xie at orchard too. felt very disappointed when i saw them. cos i used to tink chew chor meng is veri cute. but to my utter disappointment he suddenly looked fatter and older. not the way i've always pictured him to be.. sigh.. time reali spares no man..
received a letter from NTU. i've clinched a place in my number 1 choice!~ school of chemistry & biological chemistry. ^_* but i'm not exactly dat excited.. still waiting for NUS to accept mi.. hopefully i wun hafta wait too long.. cross my fingers.
tinking of going to hk for holidae. most likely end of june. still saving up now. hopefully either val or dear can go.. if not dun tink i'll get a chance to go overseas.. sigh..
been too bored at work lately. so val n mi tot of organising a 309 bbq on july 2nd. but b4 dat, maybe we can haf a 309 gers only dinner. tentatively 15th may. can everyone help to spread the word? i reali miss the bbq we had in yr 1.. gone were the days we were immersed in joy n laughter.. will we ever feel the same again?
Friday, April 22, 2005
sucks man.. time seems to be crawling lyk a sloth.. in case u do not noe wat it is.. a sloth is a mammal closely related to ant eaters. they hardly move around and even when they do.. it'll be so slow it is hardly visible..
luckily there's music to accompany mi.. some smart colleague has brought radio and speaker. there's quite a number of nice songs. if not i tink i can juz fall asleep in my chair.. feeling kind of disappointed rite now. juz when i pluck up enough courage to sms him via internet.. realised he's neither a singtel nor starhub subscriber.. argh!! waste my efforts.. to tink i was so nervous..
listening to 'forever love' rite now. reali sweet song. if the guy i lyk sings dat to mi i guess i'll swoon. though i'd sae as long as he's the one i lyk, any song he sing will make mi feel so touched. personally i tink it is reali romantic for a guy to sing to the ger he lyks especially if he makes the effort to learn and practise the songs she likes. dun u tink so?
i wonder........
When will my heart flutter once again?
i'm a lone ranger tonite again.. sigh.. but well.. at least it's gonna be my last dae for the week. it's fridae n the office seems to be buzzing wid excitement n joy. laughter is ringing everywhere unlike the usual solemn atmosphere in the afternoon where everyone is up to their neck. guess they r going to haf a great nite out? leaving only mi in the office.. so pathetic..
met nancy on my way to work. still the same, lame as ever. tok for a while till her mum came to pick her up. complained dat i'm alwaes busy n nv answer her call. can't help it mahx.. cos i'm too busy wid my work. n she called my house obviously i'll not be able to pick up.
my da jie haf chicken pox again. 2nd time in a year. maybe the last one wasn't a full outbreak. this time was far more serious. dunno whether i'll get infected by her anot.. not a bad thing actuali. better to get it early than late rite?
going to become deaf soon. not like i'm not hard of hearing enough.. there's hammering n drilling juz above my head.. how dumb can it get? to haf construction at this time of the dae n in an enclosed area.. headache...
Thursday, April 21, 2005
another long nite.. yawnx.. i'm tired.. 1 more dae to my off dae!~ looking forward to going out wid dear on sat. still owe her a bdae present.. going for jap food. some paper sushi? i haf a craving for jap food rite now.. practically drooling at the thought.. yum yum. but guess it'll burn quite a big hole in my pocket.. but well.. guess it's ok to indulge once in a while.
applying for the sistic job. asked val to help mi type resume. thankx val! hopefully both of us can get the job.
did something bad juz now.. kapok a glass from tcc. transparent small glass which loks lyk a candle holder. can use it at my workplace in future. lolx. anywae xy even more pro.. she kapok the sugar holder along with the sugar. but well.. luckily no one noticed. phew..
guess there's nuthin much to update le.. dat's all for now.. tataz~
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
starting work in 7 mins.. so sianx.. i'm working on my own todae again.. how interesting can it get..
was walking to work juz now.. passed by the uob centre. met this caucasian guy who started toking to mi.. asked mi where am i heading to. told him i'm going for work. then he asked mi whether i'll go for a drink after work. i wish man.. but well i said most probably can only go on fridae.. though in my heart i was reali yearning to go.. wat's more it's ladies nite! after dat he asked if i want to meet up for a drink on fri.. obviously i declined though not outrightly.. juz hemmed n hawed. guess he took the hint cos he was saying it's ok actuali. well.. i can't anyhow go out wid strangers unless i haf company rite?
saw this cust serv assistant job at sistic. seems quite a good job.. maybe going to try applying for it.. if can land the job most likely can quit my present job at DOS.
i tink i'm going crazy.. zw is driving mi mad.. suddenly he's showing mi too much attention.. every nite call mi.. tink my hp bill very low ar.. dun call him back then he start saying he understand n hope i'll find a better guy than him. please. gif mi a break. i'm real tired when i reach home liaox.. where got still haf time n energy to listen to emptiness? not lyk he has anything much to tok to mi about.. hope he'll give mi some peace of mind soon..
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
juz started work for about 10 mins. so far still no calls. good good. hope call volume will remain lyk this for the rest of the nite.
another bad dae at work todae.. got an ultra nasty respondent who almost make mi cry.. so u can imagine how mean she was considering how i hardly ever cry in public.. but well.. i'll juz dismiss it as some old hag who has hormonal imbalance. lolx. so far she's the first whom i reali cursed in public, as in even the f word came out.. hope she'll be the last such person i encounter.
met up wid xy n nazir at pacific cafe at citylink after work. we still haf quite some hours to kill.. well.. at least the time was well-spent as we caught up on old times. it's been quite a while since we last saw each other now dat i'm only one working nite n they r working in the morning.. after some time of gossiping n commenting on the various ppl who walked by, we headed for marina square. reali lyk its new revamped look now, real stylish. maybe shall go catch a movie there 1 dae soon.
had a sinful indulgence todae. not only did i haf half a slice of blackforest cake n another of cheese cake for lunch, i even had ice cream! double choc sumore.. i can juz feel my waistline expanding again.. argh!! dun tink i'm ever going to succeed in losing any weight..
reali tired now.. i've been sleeping late for the past few daes.. sun nite was due to the nkf show.. reached home around 12 slept around 1.. woke up around 7 ended work around 11.. reach home 1130 le.. but i slept at 1.. cos smsing someone.. n to tink he complained to his frens todae.. sae i msg him at an unearthly hour yest.. hallo?! he was the one who started msging mi first one ok.. watever le.. next time i shall not bother about him anymore.
i wonder if u'll ever noe.. how many daes i spent.. dreaming of u..
Monday, April 18, 2005
finali back to update. many things happened so i guess it'll be a long entry todae.
Thursday April 14
bought my mp3 player! though i din reali hear of the brand before.. Astone. anywae was deciding btwn creative muvo N200 and Astone Rhumba 2000. in the end chose the latter as it looks nicer n more class. but well.. it also burnt a hole in my pocket..
Friday April 15
it's my off day. met up wid mark since he sae i still owe him a present. anywae treated him to a meal at v8. then walk around while waiting for benson n his frens. as usual, he was late. n not juz plain late.. but extremely.. more than half an hour lorx.. n worse of all when they reach.. they juz stand there and tok.. undecided where to go.. coincidentally saw kim there. she's in her cupid's attire. she look so pretty. since the guys also haf nuthin to do.. i juz stood there n watch her fluttering here and there. after about half an hour, the guys finali decided to go orchard. wanted to walk there.. not even halfway through, this smart aleck lk decided he's hungry n wanted to eat minced meat noodles.. frustrated i decided to go home.. n a lesson learnt will be never to go out wid a group of guys in future.
Saturday April 16
dread coming to work at DOS. not only the respondents are mean.. the supervisors are reali the ultimate.. i seriously hate working under female boss.. they are soooO flirtatious. dun understand y.. seems lyk we 3 gers are transparent.. lunch we r alwaes the last to go. at least should be thankful we can even go.. cos usuali they just conveniently forget about us.. is it bcos we r not pretty enough? the other gers dun seem to haf this problem.. sigh.. i wanna find new job.. anyone got lobang?
went shopping wid val after work at bugis. saw this very nice sweater from pure milk. there's 4 colours available, pink, blsck, blue n purple. lyked the black one especially.. tempted to buy but then hafta take into consideration how much i've been spending lately.. the price is quite reasonable though.. $38+.. dunno if i should buy it anot?
Sunday April 17
work was dreadful as usual. i'll choose not to let myself get bothered by it. went to the NKF Charity show at mediacorp. my very 1st time to the studio. so excited! as stated on the ticket, we r supposed to wear formal, guys supposed to wear lounge suit n tie. so darling n mi wore pants n all.. juz to find dat we r the most formally dressed ppl there.. duhx.. anywae, the road in to the station was real arduous.. so many cars drive past but none offer to give us a lift.. sigh.. even caught a glimpse of chen han wei pass by in his little voltswagon.. but sadly he din stop for us.. when we finali reach the station, 2 of us were lyk some blur sotong.. was waiting for the lift when both of us was stunned by the galore of local artistes streaming in front, behind and beside us.. 1 of the few times i haf such close proximity wid the stars.
finali the show started. though our seats were not dat fantastic, but it was a totally awesome experience. the feeling is juz not the same as watching it on tv. being able to watch a show in the making is reali a one of a kind experience. through the rectangular idiot box one is unable to see the hard work put into making the show a success. Applause to all the backstage crew and also the artistes for their unwavering efforts. Kudos to them.
After the show ended at about 1030, the live telecast was over but not the whole event. viewers at home do not see the prize presentation to thank those who've played a part in the event. tokens of appreciation were awarded to the sponsors, artistes and backstage crew.
the whole event ended officially around 11. there was a tea reception though i guess most of the patrons haf left. luckily darling n i stayed behind. cos we saw nick shen there. he's much much friendlier and cuter than i tot.. managed to take a photo wid him. though i was practically trembling wid his hand placed on my back. n my heart was thump, thump, thumping lyk mad. i'm sure he can feel it cos he seems quite awkward too. but quite sad bcos the photo we took was quite blur.. can't see his features properly.. argh... i'm so exasperated.. but well.. at least i've a photo of him n mi. better than nuthin hor? lolx.
whoo... finali gotten everything i wanna sae for the past few daes off my mind.. feeling better now. though i still can't get over certain things.. btw is it possible for mi to ever find a place without gossip mongers n ppl who loves creating rumours?
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
last dae of the week at ocbc. hmmx.. tink i'm having even lesser time to see chocolate.. anywae dun tink i'll even get to noe him.. he's from banking but i'm in cards.. so i guess i'll not get a chance to speak to him.. anywae he wun even bother to take a look at mi.. considering how i look.. this is wat nazir told mi.. ppl wun like mi when they see mi.. sigh.. so sad..
anywae feeling quite tired of my job at DOS.. alwaes get nasty callers.. so unlike ocbc card holders.. much more friendlier. but well.. i've signed a contract n i hafta work till at least end of june.. so sianz..
i tink i'm reali getting detached from online activities.. the onli thing i still get into contact will be my blog.. wanna see certain ppl online also cannot.. wanna check mail also cannot.. all bcos my com crash le.. n the laptop has migrated to my sis' bf house.. can onli wait till i get my own laptop.. so i tink till then i'll juz be cut off from the virtual world..
Monday, April 11, 2005
4th dae of work at singtel building. hmm.. so far still alrite.. though i still dunno much of the other colleagues except for the technical staff.. cos i guess i'm juz too anti-social ba.. anywae i'm reali pissed wid the supervisors n field workers.. alwaes poking their nose into watever we r doing.. sumore alwaes drag our working hours.. tink they r being very unfair lorx.. make us stay back at least 15 mins after work for briefing.. they should pay us OT lorx.. Sooo Irritaing..
btw tink our level the toilet very eerie.. the window opens n shuts by itself.. argh~ i hope it's onli bcos it is an automated ventilation duct..
bought 2 pairs of shoes juz now.. supposed to control my spending but it seems lyk i still can't resist the temptation. guess i hafta cut down on my eating then.. anywae that technical guy at work sae i'll make a hole if i continue bouncing around at work cos i'm so heavy.. so i shall go on a diet.. sumore last nite lw sae i fat liaox though he nv see mi for almost 3 yrs le.. n so i guess i reali need to lose weight liaox.. n i wonder y that guy alwaes ask mi if i wanna get anything when he go out.. however val sae he nv ask her one.. hmmx.. maybe i've a hungry look?
Thursday, April 07, 2005
went to the Fila sale wid nazir this afternoon.. nothing much fantastic.. somemore the place lyk so ulu.. walked for dunno how long under the hot sun b4 reaching.. actuali i dun reali lyk going to those kind of warehouse sale where everything is in a mess.. hafta dig here n there juz to find the item u lyk.. actuali i'm there on a mission.. help joyce, val n my family buy stuff.. tink i become maid le.. so juz 20 mins into the search n i'm totalli exhausted..
1st dae of answering calls at singtel tml.. quite scary.. dunno wat to anticipate.. hopefulli it'll be peaceful..
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
going for FILA sale tml at aljunied tml. but dunno hu to go wid.. anybody interested n free call mi up horx? hope i can find a nice bag or perhaps bottoms.. need to help joyce n val buy stuff too.. cos they've got work tml but i dun.. then the rest of the ppl like all working also? so i guess i've to go to the sale alone?
tHe gReatest pAin in liFe is nOt tO diE.. it'S nOt bEing aBle tO die.. Imagine.. juZ whEn u tOt u r gOing to diE in a plAne crAsh.. tHe Plane dOesn't eXplodE bUt dRop inTo tHe sEa.. n u tInk u r gOing to dRown.. bUt u dOesn't.. oNly tO fInd a shArk coMing at u.. tEaring uR liMbs aPart.. tHis tIme u fEel deAth iS reAli neaR.. wId 1 aRm n 1 leg riPped off n sEa wateR filLing uR lunGs.. uNfoRtunAtely u sUrvivEd iT n dRifted to aN oFfshOre iSland.. cAn u fEel tHe aGony oF it? sOmetImes u fEel u R beTter oFf deAd.. bUt liFe dOesN't pErmits.. n u juz hAfta lIve oN.. nO matTer hOw muCh iT hUrts..
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
so sianx..went for the interview juz now.. kind of regretted.. 1 lesson to learn.. dun anyhow do survey even if it's ur fren's one in future.. it's some kind of company selling health products. to put it nicer, they deal wid biomedical products.. job they offer is some sort of network marketing. supposed to promote this water purification system which costs 1700+. madness.. actuali these sort of products alreadi very common in the market already.. but well.. in order to reali earn any money.. u hafta climb up the corporate ladder slowly to the post of manager.. this is prevalent in most companies nowadaes.. multi level marketing. meaning u hafta get more ppl under u in order to rise to another level.. sianx.. actuali i would rather join previous healthcare companies.. so i guess i still hafta stick to my job at ocbc..
Monday, April 04, 2005
work juz started n i'm feeling so sianz.. anywae got a call juz now. from some company asking mi to go for interview tml.. sae i did some survey in which i sae i'm interested in banking jobs.. so i'm 1 of the potential ppl they wanna hire.. problem is i dun even recall doing any survey lehx.. well.. juz go n see how lorx.. wun die.. anywae only working nite shift tml.. n maybe if the pay there better, i'll quit my ocbc job since i can't quit from the DOS..
hmmx.. last dae of training at singtel todae.. starting work on fri.. kind of scary.. dunno wat to expect? but tink it shouldn't be as bad as training ba.. which alwaes bores mi to death cos the speakers are alwaes going thru the same things..
Friday, April 01, 2005
it's April fOol's dae! buden there's not much fun.. in fact it's been rather boring dae.. sigh.. training was ok initiali.. but when it gets down to theory i almost fell asleep..still dunno any of the colleagues.. hmmx.. i guess it's alwaes harder since i'm so anti-social. still haf more than 3 hrs to go.. but it's ok. got nazir to tok to mi.. help mi see things in newer perspectives. to be specific from the guy's point of view. so guess i'll not blog anymore..
iF he nOes wAt i fEel tOwards hIm.. thEn y hAven hE taken aNy acTion?
there's only 1 answer: hE doeSn't fEel the sAme wAy as i dO..
