w|sh upOn tHe sAme sTaR..

2009-08-05T20:05:00.000+08:00

after more than a month, I'm finally back to resurrect my blog. this week is considerably short with Founder's Day celebration yesterday and National Day celebration coming up on Friday. suddenly feeling kind of lost as there are not many lesson plans to submit. next week will be back in full swing again. =(

it's been more than a month since I started teaching at Fairfield. so far so good. students are well-behaved and the colleagues are fairly nice. nonetheless, I wish practicum will end soon enough so that I can replenish my sleep. been deprived of sleep far too long... zombiefied @.@

2009-06-28T18:48:00.003+08:00

i've moved in with my sis so now i'm staying at tiong bahru from sundays to thursdays and then back home during the weekends. i suppose this will be the routine for the next 10 weeks. pray i wun be late tmr. checked the timing at the bus stop and the first bus will reach at approximately 648. wonder if i'll be able to reach fairfield by 7?? praying also for favor, nice environment with friendly colleagues and good leadership.

i've been feeling slightly grouchy today. mmz.. perhaps repercussion from yesterday? let's just say i dislike people who are insensitive and overly quick to speak. though i do commit the same mistake now and then but i still try to control myself. i guess it really takes effort and wisdom to deliberate over your thoughts before vocalising them. oh well...

lately the hot topic in town is michael jackson's demise. i will never forget the very first song that he sang which caught my attention. Earth Song is definitely a most meaningful and probably impacted my outlook in life since young. not forgetting his famous moonwalk. he will always be the king of his era. it is indeed a pity that he passed away without any signs. that just shows how fragile life is.

on a lighter note, another hot topic in 'town' is matchmaking and love. everyone is eager to pair two eligible singles together. they do make a good match. let's see what comes out of it? though sometimes i am not exactly in favor of intense teasing of the parties involved because it may backfire instead. in the end, love that could possibly blossom may die prematurely. or perhaps it's just me? the awkwardness effected from incessant taunting which gets increasingly real will make me shy away. this is a bad habit of mine which i myself cant kick. i clam up and take a 360 degree turn in front of the person i like. and so... explains why i seldom speak to the person i like or for that matter people who are suspected of liking me. aye aye...

2009-06-18T13:28:00.002+08:00

i'm finally done with packing. my habit of proscratinating needs to be kicked. I tend to get work done only when the time is ticking so fast. that's just the laidback nature in me. well, in a positive manner, it means i dont waste time on doing and re-doing.

will be departing for Cameron Highlands around 8pm tonight. friends, please dont miss me. =D will be back in the evening on Sunday meaning I will miss SOS. shall get someone to pass me notes when i'm back. =)

2009-06-15T12:46:00.003+08:00

anyone with eyes would be able to sense the animosity and tension between me and a certain person. Not that I really care that the person is showing hostility to me because I know it's not worth my getting upset over it. in any case, the person's presence is but a passing presence in this phase of my life. Sometimes things are not within my control. if the other party has no intention of making itwork, there's nothing i can do. no one likes to be talked to in a condescending manner. I know i have my flaws and i'm often blur but it doesnt kill to help someone who's in doubt, does it? gruelling 2 hours of meeting which I dreaded coming but knowing that if I do not turn up, I will definitely be screwed upside down. though I did not see how my presence changed anything. Not that I have no value-addedness but that my opinions are not being appreciated. whatever.

2009-06-14T01:23:00.002+08:00

There's a strange feeling tugging at me for the past one week or so. woe be to me as it seems to get more intense.. i'm kind of in a confused state of mind right now and i believe that is clouding my judgment. =( God, please guide me. Thanks dear, for your prayer. May God anwer our prayers soon enough.

2009-06-13T08:15:00.002+08:00

I rushed like mad to finish my 1000-word essay so that Daniel can help me submit only to find out I still have to go back to school on Monday. -_- Pardon my poor memory but since when did we decide to meet on Monday? cant we meet off-campus? oh well.. enough about disheartening stuff.

this week is indeed a trying week, a time of mourning. A total of 4 wakes to attend. it's really sad how fragile life can be. Treasure the people around you because you never know what lies in the future.

overall, children's camp was great and those who missed it, it's such a pity! (lol. i'm gloating over here). I believe each child had an unforgettable experience and their lives have been changed. *.^

2009-06-06T01:28:00.002+08:00

it's been a really loooong time since i last updated. now that i'm only left with one last submission, i can finally take a breather. it's holidays as soon as i'm done with the 1000 word essay! =D

Programs for this month:
1. cycling at east coast
2. ice-skating at leisure park
3. cameron
4. swimming
5. shopping (it's GSS!)
6. boardgaming

anyone keen sign up with me k? lol

2009-05-21T18:03:00.002+08:00

my blog is seconds away from becoming extinct considering it has been left dormant for so long. but then again, it isnt exactly that long ago. ;P This week had been a most taxing one. Mon was Microteaching; Tues was submission for ed psy individual essay plus group presentation part two; Thurs which is also today, is the submission of both lesson package and a lesson plan for cpa. With all these covered, I can breathe pretty well now. Forwent my sleep last night because I was finishing up on my package and also being a kpo helping others. This probably explains why I'm pretty zombiefied now. =(

Was watching my micro video and I realised I have some serious problems. Throughout the whole 20 minutes of so, I said 'ok' like over 30 times. Terrible! I seriously need to watch myself. Secondly, I am also bobbing around and my hands are always guesturing too much. Finally, I always end up laughing when people make funny comments. I'll need to control myself! It's funny how you never see ur true self in your body but when through the lenses of others, you begin to understand how others perceive you.. hmm...

2009-05-10T18:37:00.000+08:00

It’s been a really long time since I last stayed up the whole night. Didn’t sleep for the entire night and now my eyelids can barely stay open. People must be wondering what I was doing at such unearthly hours. Barely finished touching up on my Ed Psy 2 group presentation and it was already 4a.m. Figured that I might as well continued doing work since my brain was in overdrive, I was thankful I had company to bring me through the night. It was not easy to endure the first few hours of dawn because that’s when the energy drive dipped the lowest. In any case, I appreciate the person’s sacrifice. Thank you pinky pig. *.#

Take this. I have 2 group presentations, 1 micro teaching with lesson plan, 2 CPA lesson plans and 2 individual assignments due. Two more weeks and it will be over. I think the slacker in me have to stop hibernating. -____- I figured rather than relying on others it is best to depend on oneself. Since I don’t know how to use Flash, I will just create my lesson with powerpoint. No kick! (as if)

Oh yeah. Perhaps it’s the stress that’s driving everyone nuts. Getting pleasure out of teasing and ‘selling me off’ seemed to be the best stress reliever. Bleahz.. I am not beyond redemption, am I?

It’s Mothers’ Day today. But no one’s home… boohoo….

2009-05-01T21:58:00.002+08:00

Though I have been praying for a break but definitely not of this nature. Thanks to the doctors, my mother is suspected of swine flu when apparently she was infected with cough from my brother-in-law. Initially the doctor said it was pneumonia as the x-ray showed a patch of cloudiness at her lungs. Twenty minutes later, another doctor said that was actually air and so they suspect she's having a flu. Tried to assure us and say that it's most likely the common flu but... they decided to isolate her nonetheless. We were also encouraged not to leave our house unless necessary. bleahz.. I cant wait for tomorrow for the clearance.

I need to do up two lesson plans soon but... I have no idea what to do.. someone give me some inspiration please!

2009-04-25T00:27:00.003+08:00

what can I say? indeed love sparks are flying everywhere, especially in children church. news on the grapevine tells me that another couple has recently formed. wow. everyone seems to be in the mood for love? or is it the pressure that ignites the passion? in any case, it is good news. =)

in the school, scandals are running rife too. oh well.. put a few women together and that's what you get. wahaha. perhaps it's the projects that are driving our hormones mad? the time we spent working together is so much more than we spend in the company of others. you know how they always say love grows with time? I say it is definitely the case!

oh well oh well.. I am so busy with all the stuff I need to do I dont really have time to think about all these. let nature take its course. *.^

2009-04-07T11:55:00.003+08:00

After lugging my 1.8kg laptop and walking for 2 hours, I can no longer feel my legs. My nose is running like a tap and my muscles are screaming for a break. bleahz.. I need rest but I can not afford it. sigh.. It is going to be a time of stretching my capacity. Battling assignment deadlines and saturation, I must be strong! I should get started on my next assignment.

0/2500 words... Need to churn out something soon..

2009-03-30T22:24:00.003+08:00

Boo! I have a virus on my msn! So if you see me send you a message about some slimming products, just ignore them.

2009-03-26T23:59:00.002+08:00

I can finally take a breather, though it will be a short one. Assignments are beginning to pile up once again but at least I am done with two for this week. What can I say? Sometimes things go beyond one's control and there is nothing we can do about it. Does pointing fingers at each other help? I believe the person did not mean for it to happen. sigh. I really dont wish to be involved in this but like it or not, somehow I am embroiled in it.

Bringing the kids on a picnic come saturday. Time to relax and breathe in fresh air. Perhaps that can get my mind off the problems at hand.

2009-03-19T15:47:00.002+08:00

I believe I am going nuts soon. A group assignment due by next Wednesday. Another group assignment due by next Thursday. This is not forgetting the numerous individual assignments I am expected to accomplish. Boo... I am really being swamped and before long, I think I will be buried under all the work. -_________-

2009-03-12T23:30:00.001+08:00

I miss boardgaming... I miss singing karaoke... I miss watching movies... So many things I miss yet so little time to do them. God, please mulitply my time!

2009-03-04T23:40:00.002+08:00

I'm livid! Some people are plain irritating and such back-stabbers. Pretending to be nice but shooting everyone else without any notice. So hypocritical. Boo! Now we are all placed in a bad light. No thanks to him. These people are really one of a kind. -______-

2009-03-03T13:12:00.002+08:00

I am beginning to see work piling right in front of my eyes. Boo... I dont exactly enjoy the life of a student. Never had. What makes it worse is they are all group work.. Somehow, coming back to campus has transformed me into an anti-social being. Yet to certain people, I am friendly. Well, let's just say I am a very complicated person. To some, I am more talkative while to others, I just dont like to talk. First impressions matter alot I guess.

Went to the gym with meijun yesterday during our 4 hours of break. Theoretically, we only spent 1 hour exercising. haha. Can only say I prefer sports to being confined in a room. *.^ Thinking of going to swim next week though I dont know how to swim. wahahaha.

2009-02-28T00:08:00.005+08:00

Considering I check my email on a daily basis, I was horrified when I signed in a minute ago. In less than 24 hours, I have over 50 messages?! Oh well...

Next week will be the start of busy days and tight deadlines. 3 days of early morning lessons at 830a.m. boo... I am so not looking forward to it... I really think boon lay is really FAR... And the farms are really far too. Visited the farms today and I must say it's really an eye-opening experience. The farms look real nice though they are really inaccessible. Once on the long, long stretch of road, it really seems like you have left crowded Singapore and entered another realm of tranquility. I wouldnt mind going there another time.

Coughing until my lungs are tired and my voice is hoarse. Been like that for more than a week. Late nights are not helping at all too. Boo...

2009-02-19T14:30:00.003+08:00

This is bad. I realised I have been living a day at a time for the past 6 weeks. Before I know it, February is almost over. Assignments are fast coming due and full lessons will start with effect from March. -__- I seriously need to have some motivation to get started.

I bought my new phone! Sony Ericsson G705. Like the compactness. *.^

There is a new korean restaurant at Liang Seah St! My dear and I went the other day and I must say it's really good! It reminds me of the time I was in Korea. boo.. I want to go on holiday!

2009-02-05T12:28:00.002+08:00

I was reminded that I am now TWENTY-THREE. No longer the young girl I used to be. Alarm bell rings in my head. Then comes another hit on the head. Valentine's Day is in 9 days' time. The issue that propped up is : Who am I spending it with? Not that I am really that concerned about not being attached at this age and time, but people around me are! And that's the cruz of the problem. I am being pressured into feeling something is wrong with me! I don't care if so-and-so planned to have a romantic dinner with his/her significant other on that special day! Stop making me feel like an old hag left on the shelf. I am pretty happy with my current singlehood days. That is not to say that I reject any possibility of getting attached in the near future, with all the matchmaking help I get. Rather I live for the moment. What is to come will come.

2009-02-02T13:28:00.002+08:00

Although I like to talk a lot and rehearse the same thing to others, I hate to repeat myself a hundred times to the same person. Asking the same question time and time again, answering the same thing all over again just gets me on my nerve. I wouldnt mind if it is a different audience but I definitely mind if the audience is the same. It just shows that what I said fell flat on dead ears which explains why I get agitated. So please stop asking if you dont have the intention of remembering.

My sister is finally back from the states. I finally understand that certain things run in the family. My sister practically bought back a whole boutique of Coach bags and wristlets. It is pure madness.

2009-01-29T00:07:00.002+08:00

Went back for follow-up on my head injury today. Let me recount my weird encounter with the doctor. When I finally got into the consultation room, the doctor asked if my hand injuries have healed. Of course right? It's just mild abrasion. Then he asked if I have any other discomfort. So I told him I have been experiencing giddy spells and in particular this morning, the dizziness was really terrible. He said that they were probably post-concussion and should clear off in one month's time. But for my case, it's been 6 weeks. Hence, he asked if I have blurred vision, numbness and headaches. He further tested my ability to follow the movement of his pen with my eyes. No problem it seems. He then suggested I go see a neurologist then back to see him before my case can be discharged. Finally, he asked if I needed a medical certificate which I gladly accepted.

At the payment counter, I felt something was amiss. Wasnt I supposed to see a neurosurgeon for follow-up on my wound? But I realised I am in the General Surgery clinic and..... the doctor did not even look at my wound! Checked with the nurses but they said that was the correct appointment booked by the ward. Despite my having called the hotline twice to clarify and been told that I will be seeing a neurosurgeon, now they are telling me it is not the case? Not being able to assist me, they asked me to clarify with the doctor. Went back into the room and reminded the doctor that myappointment supposed to be with a neurosurgeon. He replied that I have no need for surgery so there is no need to see the neurosurgeon. Then I told him that I was supposed to have a follow-up on the laceration on my scalp. To think he replied me in surprise with "You have a wound on your head? It is not stated." Like how -_-" was I.... Doesnt he have my record? Showed him my wound and he told me not to worry cos it has healed nicely. Then I told him I have removed the stitches a while back. He was shocked once again and said "You had stitches? I was like "Ya..." At this time I cant take it anymore. Told the doctor I would like to be transferred over to another hospital on the grounds that it is nearer to my house. He told me he is not sure how to go about transferring the records and delegated the task to the nurse. Waited for an hour but yet to get any response from the other hospital. Told the staff I need to leave because my giddy spell is killing me. Was informed they would contact me when the procedure is done and the appointment with the hospital in question is secured. I checked with them when I should receive their call nd they said today. But... till now I have yet to receive any call? Shall bug them tomorrow.

I think most everyone know what the above mentioned hospital is. Is it any wonder it has such a bad reputation? I am really appalled.

2009-01-23T23:40:00.002+08:00

I must say I am really blessed. Met up with the guys at IMM. 4 guys to 1 girl which makes me the rose among the thorns. lol. Didnt expect so many of them to turn up in the first place which explains why I am greatly outnumbered. In any case, I really appreciate their taking time out to celebrate my birthday, albeit late. The family at the table next door cast glances at our table when the guys sang a birthday song for me, made me kind of uneasy. Nonetheless, I was really touched by their act. I presume they should be feeling just as awkward? *.# I thank God for the wonderful friends I have.

2009-01-22T13:48:00.002+08:00

Is Chinese New Year just round the corner? Although its footsteps draw nearer, I dont seem to feel its presence. Somehow the festive mood had been overshadowed by a cloud of gloom and uncertainty. Not that I am that affected by the current economic situation, I also cannot exactly say I am insulated from the economic turmoils and upheavals. Nonetheless, I have faith that even if I walk through a very dark valley, His goodness and mercy will run after me.

The past week had been a most hectic one. Despite my lessons spanning only a total of 6 hours over three days, time seems to be insufficient. Primarily, much time is wasted on travelling. Boon Lay is really far!! It's only once in a while when I get lifts that the journey gets more bearable. Secondly, GESL project requires rather intensive discussion and being such a large group, it is not easy to get consensus in a short time. More brainstorming to come.

All in all, the past week had been a most fruitful one. Monday was spent shopping with dear, Tuesday visiting with Joanne, Wednesday was vision sharing. I need to rely on His strength. Not by might nor by power, but by my spirit.

2009-01-17T23:40:00.004+08:00

In 20 minutes time, my special day will be over. Of course that does not mean the end. Looking forward to the coming year and anticipating it to be the best year yet. I am really touched by all who sent their well-wishes, via text or in person. Thank you all for remembering!

Actual day of my birthday this year was rewardingly spent with the kids and my family. Starkly different from the past few years. It was a great time, both fulfilling and comforting. I believe this year is truly going to be a fantastic year. No matter what others may say, I am believing for an extraordinary time.

2009-01-13T15:50:00.003+08:00

Day after day, people ask me what I want for my birthday this year. As I exhaust the remaining of my double swan age, I cant help but wonder what exactly will be the perfect gift. Clothes I prefer to buy on my own, bags I have quite aplenty, soft toys I have no particular fancy for, accessories I have more than enough and cosmetics I am unusally particular about. This rules out all possibility of an ideal gift that is other than the big ticket items. I have been eyeing a diamond necklace from Soo Kee, a pair of earrings from Lee Hwa and some clothes from Ed Hardy. But then again, all these I can get them myself. Whatever it is, it's always the thought that counts. I would definitely welcome presents, be they in the form of clothings, bags or accessories, as long as they are given out of a sincere heart. (something of my style preferably)

Talking about birthdays, I wonder if there will be any one who will celebrate with me on the actual day? Supposedly I need to be at expo till 730.. -_-''

2009-01-10T22:25:00.002+08:00

I learnt a valuable lesson today. Never leave your destiny in the hands of others. It is essential to exercise my wisdom and not depend on hearsay. I realised that often when I trust what others say completely and do not seek the answers out myself, I get into a lot of misunderstandings which ultimately led to problems which could had been possibly averted. Indeed, I need to be more discerning and use my brains.

2009-01-09T16:54:00.005+08:00

Today signalled the last of orientation. Orientation was pretty dry with the numerous briefings we had to sit through. Nothing of note-worthy other than the Teambonding and Heritage Race that we had yesterday. Ran around campus and explored the places significantly associated to our diverse backgrounds. Through the sweat and fatigue, we emerged second! Three cheers for Sigma! Though we did not top the race (which we could), we finished the race with integrity and in unity. Hence, we are truly proud of our achievement.

Thanks to the vigorous workout yesterday, my leg muscles are now screaming! Yes! No doubt I have not exercised in donkey years.

Lessons start proper with effect from Monday. A mix of -__- and ^.*

Meeting Dear for dinner. Afterwhich will be Red Cliff 2 with Jackson and friends. Uber looking forward.

2009-01-04T17:31:00.004+08:00

I wonder if the knock on my head is far more serious than the doctors dismissed it to be. I have been experiencing giddy spells far too often. Not that I actually collapse in a pile, but it feels like everything is swimming in my head. bleahz..

Orientation starts tomorrow. I realised that Boon Lay is really far! Its accessibility is comparable to pasir ris, if not worse. boohoo. I do wish I can stay in the hall. -_- Looking at the timetable, I need to think twice though. Seems like until March, I am relatively free? That is if I did not misinterpret the timetable. After March, it is kind of madness. sigh.... With Fridays ending at 730?! Again, probably I may need to take some content upgrading modules considering how badly I did for my own core modules. aye... It's really embarrassing.

Dear is coming back on Tuesday! whee~

2009-01-01T21:36:00.003+08:00

It is really not easy to shoot, especially when my eyesight is absurdly bad. Nonetheless, it was a relatively fun experience. Following that, we watched Twilight. Finally! I have been wanting to watch it since it first hit the cinemas. The movie didnt disappoint me because despite having a rather shallow plot, the cast is pretty power-loaded. At least I get to ogle at my eye candy, Robert Pattinson and be swooned by his sleek demeanor. If I am not wrong, he is the cute senior in Harry Potter. Not only is he incredibly handsome, he is really charming! His eyes are so communicative and express such complex emotions of love, passion, exasperation and longing. Furthermore, he is so protective over the love of his life that it makes him even more attractive. Compared to Hugh Jackman, who is more rugged, I would definitely much heart him. Not that Hugh Jackman is not charming, but I dont exactly fancy bearded man. A well-groomed guy is definitely more suave. Like the rest say, I am still a xiao mei mei. lol.

2009-01-01T01:48:00.000+08:00

As we bid farewell to a less than desirable 2008, I cant help but wonder if the air is fresher for 2009? Everyone is just so eager to usher in a new year, which to me, feels just like another year. I mean, having been through so many new year crossovers, how do you sustain the passion and rev up the anticipation? Renewal of mind I guess. I just dont feel any novelty and excitement which is probably attributed to my ageing mentality. In any case, I am still more than happy to leave behind the old hurts, disappointments and victories and enter into a new year. To be able to welcome in a new year simply means that I have lived past another year. For this, I am thankful. For a chance to breathe and to live.

To kickstart the new year, I should rightfully set some new year resolutions
1. Changing my battelfield and becoming more positive, less critical
2. Study hard and be a diligent student
3. Curbing my tendency to shoot my mouth off, be more sensitive and less self-absorbed
4. Be generous to both myself and others
5. Sourcing for my SO because I am not that young afterall
6. Rely on Him and know Him in a greater manner
7. Keeping time, be punctual and mindful in time management

After 4 hours of sleep, I am off to shoot some arrows!

2008-12-30T23:16:00.003+08:00

Have I ever said that I think guys who keep blogs and update them regularly are a rare breed of sensitive new age guys? lol. They are bold enough to reveal their emotions and insecurities to the world and remove the mask that social constructs have imposed upon them. I find their courage highly commendable and admirable. Personally, I think it is very sweet of a guy to talk openly about his experience of liking a girl and the process of wooing her complete with the complex emotional struggles he faced. It just reflects how sincere he is towards the girl because he is not afraid to admit to others his feelings. Okay. Before anyone starts to brand me as a psychopath with a fetish for guys who maintain blogs, I have to clarify that male or female, bloggers are people attuned to their innermost self. They share their life experiences which give me great joy reading them because they provide alternative insights and new perspectives.

Havent been blog-surfing for a while which explains why I have been missing out on things happening around me and my friends. Finally managed to unleash the voyeur in me today, hopped through a few blogs and uncovered substantial juicy news. I am really happy to know that good things are happening to my friend. ZX, Congrats on your new status! It is no longer I but WE. Many sweet sweet days to come. Jiayou!! By the way, I'm amazed by you. *.^

2008-12-28T22:58:00.004+08:00

I am irked by the behaviour of certain ugly Singaporeans. Indeed it does not pay to be kind at times. On my way to an appointment, I chanced upon this little girl of 3 years old at Terminal 3. She was crying her eyes out as she had lost her way. No one stopped to help her though apparently she is looking very frightened. Feeling sorry for her, I stopped and asked her what happened and if she knows where her family is. She just kept crying for her mummy and could not answer any of the questions I asked. I brought her to the information counter which was two levels up. As she was afraid of the ladies at the information counter, I stayed with her until her sister arrived upon hearing the page through the intercom. Ridiculously, the girl was kind of upset at me. She was like saying what was her sister doing up here. I explained to her that I had seen her sister crying for her mummy and because she did not know where her family was, I brought her up to the information counter so that they can make an announcement. Not sure if she even understood my words because she was still complaining (in Mandarin) to her boyfriend about the entire episode. Excuse me?! It's alright if you dont appreciate other people's help, at the very least you do not push the blame to the person and behave as if the person has abducted your sister. I help people not because I am a busybody or I hanker after the "thank-you". But of course there are some insecure people who may misinterpret it and look upon a well-meaning person with distrust. duh.. Sadly, our society is increasingly lacking in graciousness and social etiquette. sigh.. But of course this is not going to daunt me from helping other people in future. In any case, I wasnt looking to be praised or commended.

Someone was asking if I am able to sense it when a person doesnt seem to feel like talking. Not sure if I am being sensitive or if the question was meant to mock me?? Apparently, I have been very unresponsive to certain people of late. I know it is evil but sometimes I really just cant be bothered while other times I am just too busy to reply to messages. Sounds irresponsible of me I guess. One thing to clarify though, no matter how busy I am, I still make it a point to reply to messages which are critical. As for those issues that are inconsequential, I see no point in taking time out to reply when I am already pressed for time. Unless I am free, which is when I will reply to all messages, other times I am rather selective. Taking into account that messages are not totally free, being the practical me, why should I reply to messages which I think are overly mundane? If I were to tell out my life story, from the littlest things, I would much prefer saying it out face-to-face rather than through mediated communication. Obviously, some people dont see it the same way.

2008-12-20T00:56:00.002+08:00

It's supposed to be the holiday season but I seem to be busier than ever. so many things to get done and it's not helping that I had sustained a head injury. it gives me headaches, makes me dizzy and drives me nuts. too bad I am allergic to the painkiller prescribed and the doctor refused to prescribe another for me claiming that I did not list that as one of the drugs I am allergic to. that's like how duh.... this gives me not much of a choice but to bear with the pain that hits occasionally.

someone said I am fierce and violent. it's a shame but I have to admit that I can be such a coward at times. I do not have the courage (though now I think it's wit actually) to respond accordingly to a situation. my reaction is usually so slow or rather I took such a long time to process it, that it's often too late to say anything. and how do I make up for it? I'll tell my friends what I would have loved to do/say when faced with that question. that's where the problem lies.. sigh.

certain people in life are just such tests of our tolerance. they certainly epitomize the gist of nuisance and are challenges to one's patience. I need to douse the fire flaming within me before it gets beyond control.

2008-12-17T23:04:00.007+08:00

the world spins around me whenever I bend my head down or tilt my head up. it's terrible and sometimes I wonder if I'll ever faint while journeying from place to place. I need to replenish the blood lost before I suffer from low blood count. in addition, I think my head stinks no thanks to the antiseptic which I have to apply on the wound plus the advice that I should not wash my hair. but how can anyone not wash hair for 5 days?! I did not really heed the advice because I do not want flies swarming around me.

contemplating whether I should post the gory photo of my wound and I decided I would. so this is advance warning for the faint-hearted. please give the following a miss if you want to keep your breakfast/lunch/dinner in the right place, that is your stomach. lol. leave while you can!

before looking at the photo, let me just give the key (as any diagram should have). the yellow blob is actually due to the antiseptic that I applied on my wound, not some pus. so theoretically speaking, the size of the blob is more or less that of my wound. the blue lines (though not that obvious) are actually the thread lines used in the stitching. the red blotches are of course blood of yours truly. after looking at it, I have two things to say. 1. my hair looks so disgustingly oily and yucky. 2. the stitching seems abit too random and scattered. hmmz...

anyway you've been given sufficient time to decide to click on the x on the right corner. so....... here it goes! don't say I never warn you. it's really not for those who are grossed out easily.

it's really grotesque!

2008-12-15T15:52:00.006+08:00

for the first time since I'm of knowledge years, I have been admitted to the hospital. though it wasnt exactly the one I would choose rationally. started off with the night cycling at 8 pm at east coast park. slight drizzle did not deter our enthusiasm at all. instead, it was such an adrenalin rush pushing on at full speed with the rain and wind in your face. first stop was changi village which was 19.5 km away. had supper there then we were off to the next stop. Alas, I did not quite make it and blew the rest of the expedition. sigh. somewhere along the way, while cruising down a slope, I suppose I lost balance due to my sudden, abrupt break upon seeing a taxi coming from the right up ahead. couldnt really remember the details except for a lot of buzzing around me as Howard and the rest fussed over me. before I know it, I'm on an ambulance and on the way to the nearest hospital. apparently I lost quite a lot of blood as I had a 3cm laceration at the back of my scalp. for the faint-hearted, please do not try to ask me for a photo cos it will totally gross you out.

at 1 plus in the morning, I was attended to at the A&E. undergoing CT scan and another round of probing and waiting. some injections before my wound was finally stitched. lost count but I think it's 10 plus another 1 which was undid. it's incredibly painful!! though they had applied anesthetic on the area, I can still feel the prick of the needle on my head. ouch! though I must applaud myself for my high tolerance of pain (even the handsome doctor said it must have been super painful). apart from occasional grimacing and squirming, I can say that I am fairly brave. lol. following that, I was bandaged and it looked like a lopsided turban. aye... so unglam. not forgetting the blood dripping onto the garment. it was another round of waiting for the hospital bed. incredulously, I was too cheerful to look like someone who had a head injury, joking and laughing at my own clumsiness and silly state. apart from the head injury, I have abrasions on my elbows and knees which are not that critical and I think I sprained my neck too. it hurts awfully whenever I try to get my head off a pillow. pushed to the ward after 15 minutes and finally settled down in the ward at 4 in the morning. Thanks to Egwin and Kin Sung who stood by.

woken up at 7am by the nurses to bathe?! bleahz. drifted in and out of sleep, eat, sleep, before being discharged at 1pm. in another 5 days' time, I will be removing the thread. yays!

2008-12-13T00:44:00.002+08:00

why do people have this tendency to make their own mistake become a problem for another person? I abhore this behaviour. because of someone else's mistake which seemingly became my fault, I need to compromise my own agenda. not forgetting that I am already not in the best of mood, having rushed down without breakfast needless to say lunch, I waited half an hour just to have a 5 minute encounter. It really ticked me off. why cant some people see other's time as precious as their own? what irked me more is the person was late not because of some understandable reason. rather, gotten back from lunch later than expected. I really felt like 'slapping' someone. of course not physically. I have never slapped anyone nor ever been slapped. my slapping generally refers to a verbal diarrhoea to get all my unhappiness out of my system. but well.. of course it is not always accomplished. sigh...

on a lighter note, i'm almost cleared. the light at the end of the tunnel is indeed alluring.

2008-12-11T20:57:00.002+08:00

the past few weeks had not been easy. praying hard that I would be admitted to NIE soon enough in order to escape from the coldness of the people. dejectedly, I was informed that most of those like me had been enrolled for the January intake, except those of extenuating circumstances. BUT... I did not receive any notification. no words could describe the waves of disappointment and misery that swept me. despite countless encouraging words from people around me, I really cant bear to continue on, with the hostility and backstabbing. Against all odds, my God has delivered me. today, I finally got the affirmatory reply that I am scheduled for the upcoming cohort of 2009. can you imagine my exuberance upon reading those words. indeed, no other words could have meant as much than seeing my name on the list. woah~ the sweet scent of liberation! I can almost savor it, just that I have yet to finalise it in black and white.

what's past sustains us. what's to come drives us on

2008-12-07T16:02:00.003+08:00

I'm spending a relaxing afternoon at the Pacific Coffee at T1. sipping a cup of warm milk, with the warm afternoon sun streaking in through the glass panels, there is much coziness. feeling so much like a taitai. lol. there's really no place I love more than the airport (apart from the house of God, that is). a place of reunions, a place of departures; a place of abundance, a place of emptiness; a place of bonding, a place of solitude. the airport encapsulates so many wonderful memories, integral to the lives of each of us and yet promises a gateway to new encounters. nothing, really nothing, can compare to our airport - Changi Airport!

waiting for val to come back from Taiwan. touching down at 7. I'm sure she has many wonderful stuff to share. *.^

I've hypothesized two possibilities for my sudden loss of voice. One, my throat is rusty, having not used it for some time when during normal school time, I will be utilising it frequently. Two, my body constituition is heaty, due to lack of sleep and proper meals. of course, everyone prefers the second postulation but... I dont really turn in very late during the past week. weird...

forgot to mention that I watched Bolt on thursday. it's my first movie in months(2?) super hilarious and though I usually dont go for comedy, this is one which really tickled me. plot is good and touches on something ever so familiar to us. the fact that society commodotize emotions and treat relationships as mere objects to be manipulated. that's how sad it is. so yeah, 4 popcorns!

2008-12-06T23:25:00.003+08:00

for some strange reason, I am down with sore throat. went to bed with a pain in the throat and the next morning wala~ my voice is half gone! some wonder if it is because of the nature of my job. but.... it's the school holidays now and I dont have any more teaching. theoretically speaking, it is not the time to have a bad throat since I no longer need to raise my voice. somehow there is something weird going on. I remember weeks before my official appointment, I developed a hoarse voice out of nowhere! perhaps it is a seasonal thing? lol. it'd been approximately 4 months since the last mysterious loss of voice. I presume it's time again? hahaz. Rather amusing and perplexing. I can hardly talk now.. so internet is my best friend, for now. ^.*

christmas is coming real soon! whee~~~ I totally heart christmas!

2008-12-03T14:26:00.002+08:00

Started visitation for the first time yesterday with Joanne. Somewhat different from what I expected it but it was a really great learning experience. You never know when your small acts of kindness can touch a person's heart. though it was totally tiring, I enjoyed it tremendously. more weeks to come. ^.*

With the christmas lightings and decor all set, the footsteps of christmas draw nearer. Everywhere you walk, a mix of joy and love abounds. It's time to throng the streets and absorb the sights!

2008-12-01T09:18:00.002+08:00

I guess I tend to be an impulse shopper, buying things without any prior research. I stepped into Sitex Fair with the aim of getting the Asus eePC. however, after hours of deliberation with my 'advisor', I figured that complete functionality is still better than reduced ones. Almost decided to settle for Vaio but realized Fujitsu was providing a better deal. Got swayed here and there because I am spoilt for choices. NEC? Asus? Fujitsu? Just when I finally decide I will get another NEC, I backed out. Not because I was fickle-minded but because of their poor customer service. With the purchase of the laptop, NEC had promised to throw in a headset and speaker. At the point of purchase barely ten minutes later, they told me there is no more headset. No initiative to replace me with something else. being the thick-skinned me, I asked if they are going to replace it with something else. The girl was unhappy but suggested another speaker. I told her I've no use of another speaker and she literally ignored me. Though I would like to close the deal with the salesguy, seeing he had been most helpful, but I was put off by the attitude of the girl. When i told her I need to re-consider, she gave me a most irritated look and rolled her eyes. Excuse me?! You failed to deliver what you promised and as the customer, I have the right to reconsider. As a discerning consumer, I should demand for what is rightfully mine and not allow sales tactics to manipulate me. Thus, I finally settled for a Fujitsu LifeBook since it gave the best bargain. Though I would say that to close the deal, they can promise you bundles of add-ons as sales gimmicks but at the instant the customer signed on the dotted line, they retract most of them. That's poor service standard which Singapore has to really work on. Nonetheless, I still got a good buy. All thanks to Victor who thronged the crowds with me for more than 4 hours. *.^

2008-11-26T15:31:00.001+08:00

It’s time to note down what I hope to accomplish by the end of this holiday. Before I embark on a new semester, it is only appropriate I pamper myself.
1. Cycling and picnic
2. Ice-skating
3. Read 5 good books
4. Have quality time with family and friends
5. Short trip (Genting? But I dread the road trip there)
6. Boardwalk Hike
7. Games at Mind or Settlers
8. Watch some good movies (first up will be Cape No. 7 since it received such good reviews)
9. Sing karaoke

For the past two days, I have been complaining about boredom. Someone suggested that the solution to my problem is to find myself a boyfriend. -_-”

2008-11-24T11:33:00.002+08:00

i need to resuscitate my blog! the past week had been a most exciting week, with Asia Conference being the limelight of it all. Through it all, I have gathered and learnt. It was a total mind-blowing experience which I am glad to be a part of. Expand your vision, Asia! after the hype and pomp, we should put into action all that has been said. Words without action is nothing. though the conference is over, the spirit is there. we must continue to move on to a higher level. whatever tsunami and earthquake, we will overcome! *.^

Greater things are still to be done

2008-11-17T00:21:00.002+08:00

gosh! I realised I have changed so much, looking older perhaps? :< throughout the past 3 and a half years, I have changed quite abit. from prior to entering uni, during uni and post uni. different hairstyles, different looks. sometimes I wish I can stay forever youthful.

the past week had been a most exciting one though the best is yet to come. *.^

2008-11-11T11:28:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday to my Beibei! I have completely lost track of time. So much so I forgot that it's Daffodil's birthday today. She is turning 3 though she doesnt behave like a 3-year-old at all. I pray that she will continue to walk in the path of the righteous God and grow up with sound values. Protection and wisdom to come upon her day after day. *.~

2008-11-06T20:12:00.004+08:00

Hollers! I am really bored. of late, I seem to have too much time on hand. I need to go take some course to enrich myself else, I am really going to become a couch potato! eat and grow fat. bleahz..

Though I have already been on a holiday this year, there is still this nagging within. I need to get out of Singapore island! even if it is to the nearby islands or even Sentosa. Someone please rescue me........ bring me out of this city into a place of sanctuary.

2008-11-03T19:55:00.002+08:00

I hate it most when:
1. people ignore me
not replying my messages and not answering my calls are mean acts. they just show that the person just cant be bothered and dont even care to respond. of course I understand not everyone can beat my record in replying (except times when I am really doing something that require my complete attention), still it is better late than never.

2. people dismiss me off without much thought
I really dislike it when people do not give much thought to what I say. not that i am always talking sense but I find it quite rude when people just wave me away mid-sentence. perhaps I am just too talkative and so I have to find someone who doesnt talk much? ha.

3. people always tell me what I have to do
I know I am not smart and advice is good but excessively demanding people really put me off. it is good to have confidence in oneself yet one must learn not to impose one's thinking on another. it really shows that you disregard the person.

4. people lose their temper and throw tantrums
people who cannot manage their emotions tend to affect the people around them. though I am also guilty of losing my temper but at least I dont vent it on innocent people. I only get angry with deserving people.

5. people go back on their word
I really cannot withstand people who do not deliver what they promised. to forget is not an excuse. say what you mean. write it down if you must.

I guess from the abovesaid, most can guess I am feelin kind of emo. wahaha. I think my feelings sway too much with the weather. when it's cold and gloomy out there, my mood swings down. I am just too temperamental. need for a change! do something unusual

2008-10-31T10:55:00.003+08:00

It's Halloween today! Trick or treat?! Sometimes I cant help but wonder how fun it will be to go around knocking doors for sweet treats. Alas, I have already outgrown the age. boohoo...

I had a most terrible experience last night. Thank God He was around and I am now safe and sound. ^.*

2008-10-29T08:16:00.004+08:00

Am I open to a relationship? A question which had popped up a number of times this year. Perhaps. I am not really sure either. I think I am still rather apprehensive towards committment. Not that I am some mega flirt who delights in fooling around. I am just very much hesitant about having another person in my life - trying to understand each other and to make things work out. Of course it is great to have someone to share your troubles and woes with but the idea of having to accomodate another person, to have to place his priority alongside mine and perhaps at times having to compromise, does not sound very appealing. I guess I am a self-centerd person? lol. Not exactly. I just have not found the person I am willing to sacrifice part of my life for. haha. Moreover, at this age, I feel that my boyfriend will potentially become my husband. Then again, I can't visualise my husband as of now. To envision the characteristics I want my husband to have seems like a tedious chore. It has always been kind of randomly popped out when asked and these characteristics usually vary from time to time. And having been reminded that I am no longer young, it's about time I start listing them down - in black and white.

Apart from the fundamentals of having the same beliefs as me, he should (preferably) possess the following:
1. Patience (and in this sense I mean alot! with the crazy world I live in, he has to be really understanding)
2. Love for people (not in the flirt sense of love but compassion)
3. Confidence (not some egomaniac but he should be secure and firm)
4. Humor (must be of the same frequency and not some lameo)
5. Maturity (behaving and responding as the situation calls for it)
6. Spirit of excellence (putting his best in whatever he does)
7. Financial stability (having sufficient, definitely not in debts or living hand-to-mouth day by day)
8. Wisdom (able to advise but not judge)
9. Cheerful outlook (outgoing and sociable people are easier to get along with *.^)
10. Height and build (must be at least 1.7m and not too scawny not too fat)

Of course the list is not all encompassing. Ideally, they make a man a Man. My sister said I think too highly of myself but well quoting from my student, "You are going to live with this man for the rest of your life!"

2008-10-23T14:17:00.005+08:00

the school term has officially come to an end. what are the consequences of 2 and a half months away from school? when your brain is left idle and homework is the last thing on your mind. Cast all your cares upon Him!

I have been rejected once again... Now... what should I do?? Should I settle for second best? or is it not even the second best?

Going to Science Centre tomorrow. :p

2008-10-17T12:53:00.003+08:00

It’s the International day for Eradication of Poverty. It is the day when we reflect on how fortunate we are and take some time to think for the poor. Though I’m not exactly sure of the significance of the gesture, I have been folding hearts for the past 4 hours. Sitting on the floor of the hall with my students, I have been diligently folding paper hearts out of magazine paper. I suppose the hearts is symbolic of our love for the impoverished. However simple the act may be, it’s the thoughts that count! (at least to me, that is) Sometimes it is not a matter of what you do but the time and efforts you put in that truly show how much you really care.

Overall, the heart-folding session was great, with plenty of opportunities to bond with our students. Being in their midst, you get to see things from their perspectives. Let’s say I’ve been pleasantly surprised by my student’s flattering comments. *.* Perhaps I might miss them when I go into NIE in January.

Of late, I realized the people around me has gone crazy, in particular the men. They are telling me things which make no sense to me at all. One thing that intrigues me is how can you have a liking for someone you barely talk to? Infatuation or love-at-first-sight is simply too unfathomable. How can feelings of affection sprout when there’s hardly any interaction between two? Instead, they are likely to be warped feelings of love and lust which are momentary and fleeting. When the desire wears off, the person will boot. In my humble opinion, love is built on communication. Consistent communication is the key ingredient to a healthy relationship, for two hearts to beat in unison.

Am I fast becoming a love cynic or an idealist? Perhaps I tend to rationalize too much?

2008-10-15T08:51:00.004+08:00

I can never comprehend the workings of a male brain. Should I say it is simplistic in nature or the males choose to selectively ignore the undesirable aspects? Perhaps I do still belong to the old school of thoughts. In my opinion, it is best not to go out individually with a guy (who used to like me) but has just gotten attached. Not that I no longer regard him as a friend, instead it is for the best interests of both parties. It is my guiding principle never to get myself into a situation which compromises my integrity. Why risk getting misunderstood when I could have averted it by going out in groups? However understanding a girl may be, she definitely would feel uneasy, knowing that his boyfriend is going out with another girl, what more a girl he used to like. Call me narrow-minded or a stick-in-the-mud, but well… do not onto others what you do not want others to do onto you. I definitely do not wish for my boyfriend to go out with other girls when we are together. The tortures of having to act nonchalant when deep inside you are struggling with anxiety. Of course we should always be self-secure and have faith in our partner. Being overly-dependent and 'sticky' will suffocate the other party. What puzzles me is the timing. It is perplexing to know my boyfriend rather goes out with his friends than spend quality time with me, especially if we have just become official. If I have just gotten together with a guy I really like, I will be like an OK-band (plaster). That is the so-called honeymoon period in a relationship and there is no reason why either will choose to spend time with others. Again, that’s just my idealistic view of a romance. Sometimes, I cant help but wonder, am I the only one who still thinks so much?

As though I do not have enough on my plate, I was dished another. It just goes to prove that my hypothesis was right. Someone just drop a sudden bomb on me which caught me totally off-guard. It has never crossed my mind that he may develop a liking for me. How true it is that love strikes when you least expect it.

Someone commented that I seem to be very resistant to relationships. In a sense, he may be right. Somehow, I have very little faith in a genuine, long-lasting relationship in today’s context. The sparks usually die off so rapidly and the passion sizzles off with no warning signs. After the courtship, the man usually becomes complacent and puts in less effort to maintain the relationship. Isn't that a cause for worry that is unless I can accept the fact that it is an inevitable fact of life. Does that mean I plan to remain single for the rest of my life? Hmm.. I am leaving it in God’s hands. He works in mysterious ways and someday He will bring the right person at the right time into my life. For all I know, the person may already be there just that the time is not ripe. *.^

However much I desire to go for the movie trip, I have to stay behind and take charge of my flock. I do miss watching movies in large groups. -_- I want to go on holiday. Anyone for short budget trips?

2008-10-14T13:42:00.002+08:00

it's Day 1 of post-exam activities. none of the items on the itinery concerns me, I have been warming my seat in the staff room. having cleared the piles of scripts due for marking, I can almost taste the sweet smell of freedom. *.^

the only problem with long holidays is.... who will be free to go out with me? sigh..

2008-10-13T13:09:00.004+08:00

just like business cycles, so are our emotions. contrary to the economic downturn, it is upward swing for matters of the heart. yes! the season of Love has dawned upon us once again. as the footsteps of Christmas draw nearer, people's hearts are more receptive. that probably explains why you can sniff LOVE all around. as everyone around me starts to pair up, I suppose an alarm bell should start ringing? oh well, let's just say I am a slow cooker in a microwave oven world. I prefer things to go slow and sweet because I believe some things cannot be rushed. it takes time to know a person. what is the point of plunging into a relationship only to get yourself all battered and hurt? when two person get together without much understanding of each other, the feelings wear off once the novelty is passe. unfortunately it is especially so for me. my charm can not sustain the interest of others for long and the affection is usually short-lived. passion can never last for more than three months. is it any wonder that I am beginning to lose faith in the promises of man? of course it does not necessarily apply to man only. woman can say things which they do not mean too. whatever it is, words are nothing without action. increasingly, I am beginning to attest to the fact that all of us are actors in this script we call life.

of course the above are just my two-pence worth of opinion. having said this, I sincerely wish all my friends a blissful relationship. though it is not something I myself advocate of, I do feel happy for them to have found someone worthy to love and be loved. well, things work out differently for people right? I am just an old-fashioned, conservative weirdo who still believes in romantic love stories. (blame it on the japanese dramas i grew up with)

2008-10-07T10:36:00.001+08:00

It’s Exam Fever! Time of the year when students all over are in a frenzy. Trying to cramp some last minute studying and bugging teachers with all their queries - that’s the trait of all students be it past or present. Admittedly, I was one of those who only ‘hugged the Buddha’s leg at the last minute’. Alongside them in the battle, teachers make use of whatever little time left to provide consultation for the initiated. Other than that and invigilation, I am fairly free, though I am frequently called up for impromptu invigilation.

I read a book the other day which got me thinking. The book mentioned something which is truly interesting. Do the waves ever get bored, hitting on the shores day in and day out? In my opinion, waves do not have emotions so they are incapable of feeling stifled. Then it set me wondering.. How about animals? Do they ever get bored of doing the same things every day? Furthermore, they are unable to change their lifestyle, in particular those domesticated ones. Won’t they ever feel sick of eating the same dog food and walking the same trail? Do they derive pleasure in doing the things that they are commanded to do, as if they have no mind of their own? Sadly, they have no avenue to let out their grouses. More often than not, we have heard people complaining about the mundane of life. We should really learn to change our outlook. Ultimately, how exciting our lives transpire depend on our own initiative. At least we are empowered with the ability to manipulate our environment. And so, I should really stop complaining about the humdrum of life. Get active and be proactive!

2008-09-26T09:31:00.001+08:00

After a really hot day comes a heavy downpour. That is the basis of the water cycle. As the rate of evaporation increases, the composition of water vapour in the cloud intensifies and finally, rain precipitates back onto the ground and the cycle goes on… One thing I really hate is rainy days. Although it can be a nice day to sleep in late, cuddled up in the warm comfort of your blanket, I dislike the cold and the flooding that may result. Not only does rain physically restricts us, it influences us emotionally. Grey days usually cause people to feel melancholic and dull.

I realized city people can be such weird creatures. Despite it being a freezing cold day outside, they insist on switching on the air conditioner – at a temperature of 30 degree Celsius. Excuse me, an air conditioner does not function exactly like a heater. It is a total waste of electricity and resources! It is this kind of mentality that is hurting our Earth. If only every single one of us has a greater sense of urgency to salvage our humanity by cutting down on unnecessary consumption of resources. Sadly, education has failed to achieve this.

The hype and pomp over the Singapore Flyer was overrated after all. The 30 minutes of ride wasn’t as mind-blowing as I had expected it to be and I doubt I’ll go for another in the not-so-distant future. Probably my opinion is biased because of a negative personal experience. Stood under the blazing sun for 1 hour just to wait for the boat ride from Clarke Quay to the ferris wheel. Inevitably, the sweltering heat will result in people being more grouchy, what more a group who had been so used to life in the air-conditioned office. Moreover, which group of people will actually stand in twos when they queue in waiting? You are talking about a group of 60 people with 90% females here. Nevertheless, here comes the nasty service provider. He took up his loud hailer and commanded us to “line up in twos” so that he can “do a headcount”. Not like we are kids who run about, making it difficult to count. What is so difficult for you to count? To think he even labeled all of us as aunties. Excuse me, did your company train you to talk to adults in this manner? Just because we are going up on the ride for free does not mean that you can discriminate against us and treat us with such disrespect. I do not see such discourtesy when he handled the Caucasians. And thanks to your poor service, I did not enjoy the whole trip. Not at all, Darren. Be prepared to receive a tirade of feedback from your appreciative customers.

2008-09-24T12:59:00.000+08:00

Basically there’s nothing much interesting going on in my life, as much as I like to believe that my life is full of colours. Besides facing children day in and day out, Mondays to Fridays, now I’m even seeing them on Saturdays. Do I ever get bored? Probably. Not only is it a great test of my patience, it satisfies the disciplinarian in me. Not that I am narcissistic and derives pleasure in imposing my ideals onto others, I believe that I have a responsibility over those that have been put under my charge. Though in the process, I risk being misunderstood by the children. But well, someone has to do the dirty job right?

Of course, there are times when children can be such sweethearts. Not only do they tickle us crazy with their funny antics, the words that sprout from their mouth can be inspiring too. Despise not the young!

Great news! I get to go on the Singapore Flyer afterall! lalala~ up the ferris wheel as a whole ‘family’ – the theresian family. 25.09.08 is another day worth committing to memory.

2008-09-19T23:31:00.000+08:00

celebrated Patron’s Day today in commemoration of our patron , Theresa Lisieux. What is a patron? Some may wonder. Based on what I gathered, a patron is a saint who protects and guards over a particular group of devoted people who have adopted her as their patron. It is believed that through the intercession of their patron saint, the believers’ prayers would more likely be answered. What made St Therese so special and loved is the core value of her life. Her humility and her approach to spirituality. She realized that to be holy and loving God, there is no need for one to accomplish heroic acts but just by being the way one is. Though it may sound simple-minded and childish, that’s the very essence of faith. We are all little children in His eyes.

Attended mass for the first time in a decade. To me, religion is like a calming agent. In a place of sanctity, one can temporarily escape from the rigorous demands of life and experience peace of mind. One hymn that really touched my heart is “As Bread that is Broken”. Truly meaningful as it speaks of the simple commitment each individual can make to build a more selfless society. Through it all, I learnt we should be more appreciative of what we have and make positive contributions. Sow in others’ lives.

As Bread that is Broken
Many hearts are hungry tonight
Many trapped in darkness
Yearn for the light
So many who are far from home
And many who are lost
O Lord Your wounded children need
The power of Your cross

Chorus:
As bread that is broken
Use our lives
As wine that is poured out
A willing sacrifice
Empower us Father
To share the love of Christ
As bread that is broken Lord
Use our lives

Help us to begin where we are
Help us love the people
Near to our hearts
Then give our faith a mission field
Wherever You may call
Lord love Your world
Through each of us
Until we've touched them all

Chorus x 2
As wine that is poured out
As bread that is broken Lord
Use our lives

2008-09-17T15:22:00.002+08:00

How would you feel if you found out your students talked behind your back? Betrayed. But actually I should have expected that to come. Well, be it teachers or students, it is human nature that people gossip and badmouth one another. However, it just didn’t occur to me the day will come so soon. For the first time, I realized how hurtful tongue wagging can be. Perhaps ignorance is bliss. Had I not been told, I suppose I wouldn’t be so affected. But then, that would be in a state of self-denial. It is time to get back into reality! It is virtually impossible to be liked by everyone. Ms Tan, wake up and accept the fact that students will backstab you and complain about you to other teachers. Probably this explains why a lot of teachers sink into depression being at the brunt of all criticisms. It is thus imperative that teachers be thick-skinned and immuned to the negative remarks they are subjected to.

As I dread the coming of each day to face the particular class, I have to rely on God's strength to pull me through it all. I really need more love and be more forgiving in order to deliver my lessons impartially and with no prejudice. Indeed, teaching not only nurtures the students but also cultivates teachers.

2008-09-06T23:27:00.002+08:00

the past few days of rainy weather has made me sick once again. runny nose, cough and sore throat. sigh. i need healing!

there are some things which are better left unsaid. i guess i'm still a more logical person. rather than let emotions get the better of me, i figure it's best to rationalize it out, especially before it reaches a state where matters get beyond control. indeed, few will understand the problem of unequal yoke. how can two share their lives when they subscribe to different sets of ideology? these differences may seem insignificant at first but gradually they burgeon and become the very basis of conflicts. instead of letting things reach a nasty stage, isnt it wiser to prevent it from happening? sadly, i think i have lost another friend. reality is such that you cant have the best of both worlds.

2008-09-03T16:45:00.002+08:00

i'm back to revive my blog! been lying dead for quite some time because there are just so many things i have to do. i barely have time to sleep. finally a well-deserved rest this school holiday. though it is only a short one week, it is more than i can ask for. even right now, i am actually back at my school desk.

been reading a book compiled by a group of teachers titled "Class Dismissed: Lessons Beyond The Classroom". the book shares of the challenges that teachers in present society face. indeed. there is far more to teaching than just the knowledge we impart. however, more often than not, people neglect the moulding of character. far too often, we are just too caught up with our pursuits of academic excellence that we forgot the other aspects of an educated individual. another insight i gained is that teachers may not often be recognised for their efforts but it is through this selfless giving that we learn to love. so now, i should stop complaining about not being appreciated. at the end of it all, it is not unto man. to all my educator friends, you are not alone! never let your passion be killled by disappointments. setbacks are meant to strengthen us not to break us.

2008-08-23T00:04:00.003+08:00

2.4 km in 12 minutes and 30 seconds. seems like quite a feat to accomplish considering how many years it has been since i last ran. for the sake of the $100, i will try my very best tomorrow. someone said i am money-face but as my colleagues say, the money is there for you to get, it's only practical and wise.

2008-08-15T11:27:00.002+08:00

another uneventful week passed. i've been taken ill. was on my way home when my body heated up and i began to feel chills in my bones. terrible feeling and the bus seemed real cold. took my temperature when i was home. 38 and i had a terrible headache that seemed to encompass my whole head. couldnt take panadol because i am allergic to it. only way out was to expel the heat by wrapping myself in thick clothings. temperature continued to soar until 38.6 as the night dragged on. when i woke up at 6, though my temperature had dropped considerably, the headache persists. thus, i applied for medical leave which explained why i'm home to blog.

there is a really cute girl in school. though she is not in any of my class, she told her friend, who then told me that she likes me because she feels that i am very gentle. wahaha. i replied her that she has yet to see the fierce side of me. such is the innocence of young children.

2008-08-09T23:41:00.002+08:00

the very first time i hear the national anthem and pledge being sang with so much gusto. like the principal said, how wonderful it will be if that were to happen every single day. as i looked on at the lines of students, arms over each other, singing their hearts out as the celebration came to an end, it just hit me that such is the joy and satisfaction of being an educator. seeing your students being appreciative of their national identity. though feeling slightly detached, i was really touched and reminded of the times i had when i was a student myself.

political stability and political liberty, which will u choose? i will much prefer the former. many a time, people complain about having limited say in affairs and being repressed. i admit i do have my fair share of grouses, but i have began to see the beauty of living in this small country. where else can u find peace walking along the streets late at night? truly, this place is where i proudly call home.

2008-08-06T20:14:00.002+08:00

appraisal for my first lesson was considerably good. areas of improvement include voice projection and giving clear instructions. not surprisingly, the class was unusually quiet and well-behaved. i guess that's just a welcome gift. :p i pray that this behaviour will continue for as long as possible.

i am very troubled by the attitude of drivers nowadays. they have no regard for the safety of the pediastrians. i do hope that the traffic police can step up on catching these reckless drivers. over the past few days when i walked to school, i met inconsiderate drivers who just happily whizz past the zebra crossing. i had to stand there and wait for the right opportunity to place one foot forward, used my eye power to will them to come to a stop. not forgetting some other rude drivers who had the audacity to honk at us pediastrians before zooming through. i have a good mind of taking down their car plate number and reporting them to the relevant authority. though i'm not sure if there's much use.

looking ahead to the long weekend ahead. fireworks will forever be the one thing that intrigues me.

2008-08-01T16:21:00.003+08:00

as we move on to the second half of the year, our workload begins to pile up. many issues need to be addressed - how to help certain students make the mark, how to get them motivated etc. with the heat turning up for the graduating classes, it is even more critical for us to take care of our own body. only with a healthy mind and soul can we trudge on. as part of the wellness program, we hiked up to Mt Faber. a really scenic place and a great get-away which i really love to venture to other than the fact that i had to walk up the numerous flight of stairs on my killer heels. not forgetting the numerous flight of stairs back down. i would have much preferred scaling it through the winding roads though it may be a longer distance. nonetheless, i climbed up with not that much of a trouble, surpassing those who were all geared up. being new to the school, we were not informed of it in advance. after it all, i could barely feel my legs when i finally settled back in the office. many applauded me for my skills on heels. feat accomplished!

looking towards Tuesday with a certain degree of apprehension. feeling insecure about taking over the HOD's class. pray that God guide me through it all.

2008-07-27T23:31:00.002+08:00

my laptop is finally back home! been cut off from the virtual community for more than a week, not that i have much time to get online anyway.

the past week had definitely been exhausting. waking up at the calling of the birds, which i had since dread to hearing it. reached school at 710 am so that i will have some time before the first bell. the first two days were spent babysitting some classes. quite uneventful other than some mischievous students who really got me tearing my hair. subsequent two days were spent on course, which i was really grateful for. last day was a combination of babysitting and observing. interesting thus far. though i still feel slightly apprehensive. #_*

the sun still shines tomorrow!

2008-07-15T23:00:00.003+08:00

been missing in action for so long that my absence did not go by unnoticed. i am honored my presence was greatly missed. ^.~

there is something i noticed of late that really bothered me. the Singaporean society seem to be getting 'colder', which reminds me of an advertisement i chanced upon in HK. it was appealing to the masses to be more socially responsible and to engage in kind acts to others. do we have to resort to that to create a society with more warmth? why is it that in our strife to keep pace with technology, we have so mindlessly forsaken our moral values? it is distressing to see the behaviour of people nowadays, with no regard to others around them. yes, they may be strangers but does it hurt to be nice and considerate?

the other day, i witnessed an incident which was really disturbing. was walking past a block of flats when i met a few elderly people gathered at the void deck. there was a rather huge commotion and being the inquisitive me, i 'eavesdropped' on the conversation. not exactly intentional but more of inevitable since it was so loud. there was this man scolding another man while the rest jeered him on. apparently, from the bits and pieces i managed to gather, the man in question was being reprimanded for buying the wrong item from the supermarket. excuse me? if you are so smart, why dont YOU go and get it yourself?! the nasty guy made alot of crude comments which just reflected his egomaniac self. seriously, being of comparable seniority, what position are you in to command and demean another? ultimately, i figured he must be an insecure man. when you bring down another just to make yourself more superior, that is most tragic. whatever self image you had so carefully moulded will be destroyed. when you strip others of their dignity, you have actually taken away whatever self respect you have of yourself. indeed, we are living in a interwoven society where one individual's actions have repercussions on the other. when we keep this in mind, the world may become a better place afterall!

2008-07-11T18:10:00.003+08:00

i've officially graduated! someone was saying, "the only other time you will be as busy will be on the day of your wedding." how true. at the end of it all, i am totally bushed! rushing from place to place, trying hard to find familiar faces among the throngs of people, taking photographs with basically everything. surprisingly, i realised i actually know the two person sitting beside me. lol. both of them were my lab partners. another thing that surprised me was the number of people graduating with me. it didnt occur to me that most of my friends are leaving school with me at the same time. turns out that most of them share the same apathy towards chemistry, lacking the interest in furthering our studies as chemistry lab is a real bore. all of us were pretty excited to step out of the institution. lol.

i received my surprise two days ago. a parcel delivered straight to my doorstep. travelled all the way from Australia. i was really touched. dear was super cute. got me a Masters plush bear from UQ. nevertheless, the gesture was truly appreciated.

2008-07-03T23:56:00.002+08:00

sick once again. woke up with a terrible pain in my throat. i think my throat is inflamed! bleahz. swallowing is uncomfortable and my voice is hoarse. boo. on the other hand, i should be happy i have a sexy voice now. wahaha.

2008-06-29T22:45:00.006+08:00

the Number ONE bane of my life is a two-legged animal with feathers - chicken. after close to one year of abstinence (though occasionally i do sneak a bite or two? oops!), the moment i let my guard down, there goes all my effort. not only does it cause me to have hormonal imbalance, it makes me sick. bleahz.. no more chicken till my condition stabilizes. -____-

greatly blessed. indeed, Man, begin to fulfil the purpose given to you and walk the path mapped out for you! your purpose determines your potential. a man must have a clear vision, learn to communicate more, to provide, protect and lead his partner. together they can move on to greater heights. Man, do not hide in the comfort of your present self any more. instead, step out and regain dominance. let your other half wait no longer, reveal your true potential! *.~

someone asked me for my home address. usually i am quite hesitant as i wouldnt exactly welcome visitors to my house. not that i am hostile but my house is not exactly neat and tidy. since someone said i can expect a surprise in the mail, i gave it to him. the first time i gave my address was to lewei. received two cards from him in the mail. not surprisingly i still have them among my treasures. chanced upon them the other day while i was clearing my belongings. read them and it brought back fond memories. i always feel that in this present time and age, it is rare to receive letters by post. most people prefer the electronic method, which to me, lacks a personal touch and less sincerity. i definitely prefer the more traditional method of comunication to new media. second person who asked for my home address was kelvin. received a bouquet of roses and a teddy by delivery. that was the very first time i receive roses on valentine's day. no doubt i was very touched by his thoughtfulness. anyway back to present day, what can i expect in the mail? just have to wait and see. ^.^

2008-06-27T10:47:00.004+08:00

exactly 2 weeks to my commencement! another milestone in my life. following that will be full plunge into the work force. excitement? definitely! i guess i am not one who likes to study. lol.

collected my gown and mortarboard the other day. though i am not exactly that small in build and i got the smallest size, it still seemed a little over-sized for me. makes me wonder how it will look on other girls who are much smaller and slimmer than me? cant imagine.

i think the NUS graduation lion plush is so very nice! anyone going to get it for me? lol. doubt it though. actually come to think of it, one of the plushes i bought in a shop outside for my graduating friends are comparable in price.

it's weird. the weather over the past few days had been warm but yet here i am, sneezing as if i caught a cold. bleahz. after blowing my nose for 2 consecutive days, my nose may just drop off soon. it's especially uncomfortable when i am teaching. my student's parent asked me to take more vitamin C and said i probably need more rest. indeed. lately i am kind of tired out. not getting any younger i suppose. haha.

2008-06-22T20:52:00.003+08:00

i am truly blessed to have students who appreciate me and never fail to think of me. ~.^ i wonder how many parents actually sit down and have a meal with their children's tutor? how many parents would actually get gifts for the tutor when they go for a holiday? not only that, the love and concern they shower upon me is more than i can ask for. indeed i am thankful for the favour of man God has given me.

love is not reliance just as solitude is not loneliness. it is a grey line separating the two, small wonder misunderstandings arise. people tend to confuse feelings of emotional attachment as feelings of affection. when two get too used to the company of each other, the bond they share start to create notions of fondness and warp their mind. such is the mystery of the human mind. of course this is not saying that love cannot stem from friendship, in fact more often than not, it does. the key is to be able to differentiate whether the feelings are truly that of adoration or merely those of familiarity. (sounds abit too idealistic and logical?) not that i am some love guru. but in my humble opinion, love is when you will give selflessly; when you will rather spend time with the person doing inconsequential things when you could have been using the same time to do something of importance; when you place the needs of the other priority over your own. definitely this may vary from individual to individual. each of us has different love lingo meaning as unique individuals, we have different ways of expressing love. according to Dr. Gary Chapman, everyone has 5 love languages through which they express love to others and receive love from others:

A - Acts of Service
this involves actions of kindness and love to our loved ones

P - Physical Touch
this includes hugs, pats and other actions of love

A - Affirmative Words
this involves praises, compliments and words of encouragement

R - Receiving Gifts
this is the more tangible aspect in which appreciation is expressed in terms of cards and rewards

T - Time Together
this involves spending quality time together

needless to say, these 5 are not mutually exclusive. instead, they co-exist. all of us sets a certain standard for each aspect. depending on the individual, age and character, a particular aspect may be ranked of higher importance but not the others.

take for example, myself. i consider myself a girl of high maintainence. my love lingo scores high in almost every aspect. in terms of giving love, i will express it through acts of service, giving small tokens and time together. on the other hand, receiving love demands more of physical touch like a pat on the head, affirmative words and time spent together. i guess i am very much a baby. lol. *.^

2008-06-21T23:54:00.002+08:00

parting is such sweet sorrow. indeed. within these 2 weeks, i will get a taste of it not once but thrice. it wasnt that long ago when i myself walked through the departure gate. now it's reversal of roles. instead, i am the one bidding farewell and wishing him/her a safe journey. of course my trip cant be compared to the rest. mine was merely 8 days while the rest would be gone for at least 2 months. speaking of which, i miss my dear! i suppose she'll be back at the end of the year?

people around me keep telling me it's my season. season of what?? that i shall not say much. lol.

2008-06-18T16:24:00.004+08:00

had a great time at Mind Cafe last night. i should seriously consider finding a part time job there. wahaha. in fact i think i do qualify lah. ^.* not that i want to boast, but i feel i know half as much if not more than what the people working there know. wahaha. anyway back to the main point, it's been a super long time since we had our class gathering. not that it can be classified as one cos it's always the usual group of people who turn up. hahaz. nonetheless, it was still quality over quantity. ;p

looking forward to the next gathering. singing karaoke at the ten dollar place. *.* time to kill chicken. lol.

my memory is fast eluding me. the other day, a guy was waving at me but i just cant place him. oops. sounds abit mean but my memory is really like a sieve. i received a call from my student's mother. amusing. according to her, there's a girl in the 7pm show on channel 8 who looks like me. wondered if i had gone to become a day player. wahaha. i think i have a common look lah. :p

2008-06-13T11:03:00.003+08:00

been a while since i last updated. not that i was really busy but i have a new addiction. x.x the recurring, compulsive act of engaging in an activity. i am now a regular at viwawa and the game that really intrigues me is none other than bridge. i guess i have been intoxicated by the people around me. lol. or perhaps i am just playful by nature? haha

celebrated mummy's birthday at some restaurant. buffet. i think i am really getting old. (oops. insensitive remark) i dont seem to eat as much as before. in any case, it was a good time spent together. mummy was elated cos daffodil sang birthday song for her. that's the charm of a grandchild. haha

sometimes i marvel at how blur and clumsy i can be. always losing my my way and going on a merry-go-round. worse is hurt my toe while opening the door. thought that it is just a bruise but before i know it, blood really ooze out like tap water. boohoo.

2008-06-08T00:49:00.004+08:00

the greatest of all is love!

after a hectic day of attending to the nitty gritty of the wedding, i am bushed. to think i am not even the bride. such is the power of love. it gives you the strength and tenacity. kudos to all committed couples. but ultimately, it was by the grace of God that everything worked out fine. all in all, being an auntie was an eye-opening experience.

happened to chance upon this while clearing up my inbox. quite meaningful.

A girl in love asked her boyfriend.
Girl (G) : Tell me... who do you love most in this world?
Boy(B) : You, of course!
(G) : In your heart, what am I to you?
(B) : The boy thought for a moment and looked intently in her eyes and said, "You are my rib."

In the Bible, it was said that God saw that Adam was lonely. During his sleep, God took one of Adam's rib and created Eve. Every man has been searching for his missing rib, only when you find the woman of your life; you'll no longer feel the lingering ache in your heart.

After their wedding, the couple had a sweet and happy life for a long while. However, the youthful couple, due to busy schedule of modern life, the never-ending worries of daily problems, began to drift apart and their life became mundane. All the challenges posed by the harsh realities of life began to gnaw away their dreams and love for each other. The couple began to have more quarrels and each quarrel became more heated.

One day, after a quarrel, the girl ran out of the house. At the opposite side of the road, she shouted, "You don't love me!" The boy hated her childishness and out of impulse, retorted, "Maybe it was a mistake for us to be together! You were never my missing rib!" Suddenly, she turned quiet and stood there for a long while. He regretted what he said but words spoken are like water poured away, you can never take it back. With tears, she went home to pack her things and was determined to break-up. Before she left the house, "If I'm really not your missing rib, please let me go. she continued, "It is less painful this way... let us go on our separate ways and search for our own partners."

Five years have since gone by. He had never remarried but he had tried to find out about her life indirectly. she had left the country and back. she had married a foreigner and divorced. He felt anguished that she never waited for him. On one dark and lonely night, he lit his cigarette and felt the lingering ache in his heart. He couldn't bring himself to admit that he was missing her.

One day, they finally met. At the airport, a place where there were many reunions and good-byes. He was going away on a business trip. She was standing there alone, with just the security door separating them. She smiled at him gently.
(B): How are you?
(G): I'm fine. How about you? Have you found your missing rib?
(B): No.
(G): I'll be flying to New York in the next flight.
(B): I'll be back in 2 weeks time. Give me a call when you are back. You know my number. Nothing has changed.
With a smile, she turned around and waved good-bye. Good-bye.. Is it forever not meeting each other again? One week later, he heard of her death. She had perished in New York. In the event that shocked the world. Midnight. Once again, he lit his cigarette. And like before, he felt the lingering ache in his heart. He finally knew, she was his missing rib that he had carelessly broken.

Sometimes, people say things out of moments of fury. Most often than not, the outcome(s) could be disastrous and detrimental. We vent our frustrations 99% of the time on our loved ones. And even though we know that we ought to "think twice, act wise", it's often easier said than done. Things happen day by day, which are beyond our control. Let us treasure every moment of our lives and everyone in our lives. "Tomorrow never comes; give and take what you have today" Once you have loved, you will always love. For what's in your mind may escape but what's in your heart will remain forever. Find time to realize that there is one person who means so much to you, for you might wake up one morning losing that person who you thought meant nothing to you.

2008-06-06T00:35:00.001+08:00

i am very, very inspired! your job is your calling, specially designed and built in right from the beginning. never under-estimate your capability. instead, excel in your calling. when you put your whole heart into doing something, you will succeed and reap abundantly. who we are, the values we hold, will be imparted to the next generation. keep your own personal life in check. our actions have impacts on how their lives transpire. such power and responsibility rest upon us as the destiny of future leaders lie in our hands. we are educators of tomorrow! rise up a new generation of children with the right attitude and sound values. let not us be slaves of the system. be the life and spread your passion!

2008-06-05T22:47:00.003+08:00

i have officially scribbled my name on the dotted line. is teaching really my cup of tea? i truly hope so. i remember a few months back, i was convicted in my heart, still am though, to make an impact in the society. the campus is where future leaders are moulded! and that is where i want to be. ^.*

i am very enticed to go on a holiday again. *_# though there are budget constraints.

come saturday, i will be attending a wedding as an isolated individual for the second time. not as exhilarating as the first. but nonetheless, being the jie meis, i am kind of nervous. haha. primarily because i have no idea what to expect. you should be worried when u hear the kind of pranks played on jie meis, though it should have been the other way round? aye.. whatever comes my way.

lately, my eldest sister started to have this weird notion. told my mother i will get married next year. duhz.. getting married when i dont even have a boyfriend?! that sounds kind of impossible. according to her, i share the same destiny as my third sister. faints. how convincing are tarot cards? supposedly i will marry a guy who does not love me as much as i love him. i definitely do not wish for that to happen. i guess that's a selfish mentality but at least it will save me a lot of heartaches. though subconsciously, i feel that ultimately i still prefer to give than to receive. aye...

alright. i realised my thoughts are kind of random today. perhaps cos my brain is kind of drained. i need to go on a shopping spree~ retail therapy always works. not forgetting the nightmare i had this morning when i rummaged through my clothes looking for formal clothes. roar!

2008-06-02T10:20:00.001+08:00

i'm back! i hope my presence was greatly missed. lol. after 8 days of fun and enjoyment, i was actually kind of reluctant to come home to Singapore. there are still so many places i want to go and many things unaccomplished. yet, i am not experiencing as much withdrawal symptoms either. oddly, i am even relieved to come back home - no more bingeing on rice day in and day out. phew. indeed graduation trip had been a most eye-opening experience with memories which will last a lifetime. Korea is definitely a distinctively different country compared to Singapore, with fascinating landscapes and remarkable culture. Hong Kong, on the other hand, is very much similar to Singapore, albeit it has more natural landscapes and attractions.

words alone are insufficient so we had taken hundreds of photos which will be uploaded to facebook. a picture speaks a thousand words so theoretically speaking, i need not illustrate much. haha. through it all, i am glad we went on the trip. though there were occasional disgruntlements, it was a priceless experience. the people we meet and the things we were exposed to can never be achieved without personally going through it. no regrets.

2008-05-22T15:02:00.002+08:00

enjoying life for the past few days. indulged in Swensen's ice-cream on Sunday, hit the beach at Sentosa on Monday, lunch at MOS with Alister and dinner with Jackson at Beppu on Tuesday and finally dinner at Ding Tai Fung with my girlfriends on Wednesday. i guess the holiday mood has officially set in. as the first week after examinations was spent grappling with the demise of my ah ma, i barely had time to take a break. perhaps it was also the death of my grandmother that knocked me to my senses. just as my brother-in-law said after the cremation, ultimately you bring nothing with you to the grave. indeed wealth and riches are merely worldly possessions which you have no use for when your time on Earth is up. truly there are other things which are more worthy of your time.

matters pertaining to graduation trip are finally more or less settled. for now, it's just waiting for saturday to come. seriously, i realised i am not made out to be a planner. all the time spent on sourcing for the package, deciding on the destination and attending to all the nitty-gritty sure dampens my mood. i would rather everything is planned properly and i only have to show up on that day itself. well.. i know that makes me sounds like a lazy bummer. i admit i probably am one. haha. i guess it's just not my cup of tea to plan for a trip. i definitely dont mind planning for small gatherings though. ^.*

will be off to korea and hong kong from 24th to 31st. contact me on my mobile if necessary. it is mandatory for those who expects a present to be there to send me off. lol. my flight is at 0830 at T1.

2008-05-16T16:37:00.005+08:00

the past week had been a most difficult time since i was of knowledge years. somehow, after it all, everything just seemed surreal.

11.05.08 Day 0

my grandmother's fever had finally subsided after 4 days. theoretically speaking, it was a good thing as it signifies that the body had stopped fighting the disease. this could either mean the virus had been defeated or the virus had reigned. from the drastic drop of her blood pressure, it is indicative that the illness had prevailed. we were warned to be prepared for the worst. statistics of similar cases among elderly patients infected with pneumonia was awfully discouraging. majority of them pass away within the day or the next, those with stronger determination can hold on for a week while miracles do happen. considering her age, her immunity level is dangerously low and we were told not to expect too much. my sister and i accompanied her till 11 plus, when the nurse advised us that it would not do us good to stay on in the isolation ward. we then made our way home with a bad feeling.

12.05.08 Day 1

received a call from the hospital at 0815. my grandmother's heart was weakening by the minute and we were urged to rush down to the hospital. despite rushing down almost immediately, my grandmother had slipped away before any of us could reach her side. it was barely 3 minutes after. somehow when the news struck, it didnt hit me that much. perhaps deep in my innermost heart, i had already resigned to the fact that my grandmother is indeed very old and death is but another phase all of us have to go through. all of us gathered in the last office where the body was laid. the sight that greeted me when i first entered will always be etched in my heart. the ash-gray face looked unreal and unfamiliar, chilling the heart. there were many things to attend to and everyone was still in a state of distress. it had been 15 years since we last encountered bereavement in the family. we consulted the booklet given to us for the ideal undertaker. within an hour, the rites and undertaker were decided upon. everyone went on their way to attend to the task allocated to them. somehow, the job of liasing with the undertaker fell upon me. remarkably, decisions were made by us grandchildren and not the adults. by evening time, everything was more or less settled. friends started dropping by to offer their condolences. i am truly grateful to all who had been there physically to support me without delay. first was Winnie, followed by Poh Guan and subsequently Patrick, Wei Wei, Li Xiang came for the wake. Kin Sung, Hong Yan and Egwin arrived much later. nonetheless, all of them were pillars of support i was most thankful for.

Day 2 13.05.08

i was supposed to attend the appointment briefing but time forbids. more people attended the wake though they were mainly friends. Kin Sung, his mother and Hui Ru dropped by. after they left for home, i stayed for the night to relieve the other cousins who had stayed up the previous night. it was no mean feat to keep my eyes open but thanks to the company of my cousins, time sped by. it surprises me how much my cousins have wisen up. moreover, i was amazed by how natural conversations had started flowing. prior to this, i had limited contact with them as everyone was busy with their own agenda. perhaps times of adversity not only brings out the trait of responsibility in a person but also bond unlike people together.

Day 3 14.05.08

morning came and the adults took over the overseeing of the wake while the children retired. evening time, all of us were back in full force. guests swarmed in by the dozens and the place was packed. Yong Cheng, Si Min, Nelly, Charmaine, Michael, Egwin and Kin Sung turned up. their concern was deeply appreciated. when the very last guest had left, we were all bushed. it was another sleepless night as i stayed up with my cousins.

Day 4 15.05.08

picked my eldest sister from the airport. afterwhich we went back home for a rest. it was going to be a busy day. late afternoon, we were back to the wake. Buddhists rites were performed though my grandmother was a Christian, a baptized one at that, because my uncle does not recognize her religion. after the chanting and the prayers, the guests left one after another. i was supposed to stay the night with my eldest sister but somehow while waiting, i dozed off.

Day 5 16.05.08

early morning, everyone was busy cleaning up and preparing for the sending off. by 1230, the shifu came and performed one last ritual. it was at this point when tears started flowing freely from our eyes. it seemd that it struck everyone that it would be the last time we will see her and everyone acknowledged the fact that our loved one is truly gone. the funeral procession was relatively short and we made our way down to tze tho aun temple for the cremation. the sight of the incineration of the coffin and body was most saddening and painful to bear. after it all, we made our way back as everything had come to a full stop. there was no bringing back of my grandmother but what was left behind were memories to be treasured. though she may be gone, she is now safe in God's hands. throughout this entire epsiode, i learnt many valuable lessons though i still cant fathom the thinkings of an adult.

2008-05-08T23:34:00.002+08:00

the battle is finally over! after a torturous 2 weeks, i have concluded the very last chapter in my student life. provided nothing goes wrong, that is. mixed feelings tugged at my heart. relieved to be free from studies and exams yet depressed that i have really aged. it's unbelievable how it seemed like only yesterday when i first joined Arts Camp, first stepped into NUS. all the friendships, new and old, forged and strengthened, all the memories shared, all the time spent mugging together, will continue to hold a special place in my heart. special heartfelt thanks to all the wonderful friends who offered me company and gave me support during this time.

with effect from the 21st of July, i will enter into the next phase of my life. for the time being, it is time to indulge myself. a myriad of things-to-do run through my head. movies, games, cycling and self-enhancement.

2008-04-13T22:28:00.002+08:00

i figured my blog is feeling neglected so i am back to update. too many things, too little time. to sum it up, i've been hit by pangs of nostalgia over the past week or so. it struck me that perhaps as one grows older, one will start to reminisce events of the past. was reading through some messages when i noticed the recent lack of communication with certain people - people whom i used to talk about anything under the sun with. can we attribute it to the hectic schedules each of us have? are human relationships really so fragile? possible. people drift apart when less time is spent to maintain the relationship. sad but true. that's the reality, like it or not. so, what's the lesson learnt?

treasure the people around you and never make busy as an excuse. ultimately, it is a matter of priority. if you truly resolve in your heart, no matter how busy you are, you can always take some time to share your life. one thing wonderful about relationships is, you can always reconnect back.

i guess this will be my last post until exams. this week is officially the last time i will ever attend lectures as a NUS student. mixed emotions. it's time to take photos for keepsake.

2008-04-03T22:35:00.002+08:00

30th March 2008 marked another milestone in my spiritual life. it was the day i renewed my covenant with God, to act out my faith in obedience and to deepen my relationship with Him. a new beginning is about to unfold as I abandon my old and erroneous ways through water baptism.
the light of the world and the salt of the earth

over the past few days, i felt a transformation within me. what used to be impossible by my own effort is now possible by the strength of God. everything began to work out smoothly and blessings poured into my life. indeed when you seek the kingdom of God, every other thing will be added to you.

over the past few days, deadlines after deadlines. by the strength of God, I overcame. tuition gets more enjoyable and i find increasing favor among my students' family. lunch was specially cooked and i was invited to swim and watch movie with them. ;P i guess i am a different kind of tutor? lol.

exams kickstart in 3 weeks time. it's really time to get set to work already. any one keen to be my mugging khaki?

2008-03-22T00:48:00.003+08:00

good things are well worth the wait. after waiting for a full 30 working days, I have finally gotten the reply I wanted. the processing took double the time it was supposed to, not exactly very efficient i must say. and somehow it seems quite weird that all notifications to me were through sms while for val, it was hard copy. perhaps they are going paperless? and one thing that puzzles both siyun and I is where's the email we were supposed to receive? isnt the email supposed to be sent prior to the sms which inform us to check our email for further details, if not it should be sent at the same time. but till now, we've yet to receive any. another period of waiting.

it dawned on me that i will have to set a good example in future. have to be a good role model. meaning i have only 1 last time to do some outrageous hairstyle? mmz..

planning graduation trip isnt that easy afterall. indeed, to find likeminded people is no easy task, not mentioning the search for good packages. and it's after much effort put in that some tells you they have other plans on their agenda, how nice that is right? oh well, worse comes to the worst, we can settle for a two-person graduation trip.

best deal so far is 7 days honshu. itinery includes visit to universal studios and disneyland. whoops! approx 1750 inclusive of hotel accomodation, flight by ANA and providence of majority of the meals. calling out to all who's graduating. anyone keen to jump on the bandwagon do contact me k? *.^

2008-03-20T11:46:00.002+08:00

my top 5 destinations:
1. Japan
2. Korea
3. Europe (Western parts like France, Switz, UK, Italy-Rome and Venice)
4. Hong Kong
5. U.S

increasingly the desire to travel overseas intensifies. however, budget constraints seem to be the greatest hurdle of all to clear. somehow, i have a feeling my graduation trip may not materialise. the next best alternative is to travel on my own. but then, that's not a graduation trip to boast about because a graduation trip should involve friends who are graduating alongside with me. perhaps instead of aiming for countries with higher expenditure like U.S, Japan and Korea, we should consider places like China and Thailand. not that I have anything against them but............ they are not exactly the ideal locations no doubt they are cheaper to travel to. Taiwan and HK would be good if not for the fact that I've already been there once. in fact, i would say HK is the best it can ever get and definitely a place I would want to go a second time.

as for now, i guess we will have to see how it goes...

2008-03-17T17:58:00.004+08:00

sometimes i wonder when will he ever grow up? many a times, it seemed as if he has changed for the better but ultimately he returns to his old self. sigh. 6 weeks isnt that long afterall. i just pray that after it all he will be more sensible.

mummy received a startling call this morning. initially there was a boy crying over the line, saying he's going to die and asking mummy to save him.according to mummy, he sounded like my brother and for a split second, my mother thought it was really him. then some mainlander took over the line and claimed that my brother is in his hands. apparently he has kidnapped my brother and demanded a ransom. he asked my mother how much she is willing to fork out and for a moment, my mother panicked and said she will discuss with papa. thank God my sister was at home and took over the phone. they then threatened to make my brother crippled if we do not give them $25,000. what a joke those people are. how can my brother be in their hands? apparently they chose the wrong time to call. afterwhich my sister feigned ignorance and said she will have to contact my father. the conversation ended there as the kidnapper shouted at my sister to put down the phone. immediately my sister called the police. about 20 minutes later, 1 of the alleged kidnappers called back and questioned whether we still want our brother. he was angry we had cut his line and my sister told him it's his accomplice told her to. duhz.. how disorganized can they get? in any case, i hope the police can get to the bottom of this hoax. apparently, there've been quite a few cases today alone. random calls from overseas.

increasingly i am becoming a major fusspot. i do admit i'm a natural worrywart. too sensitive i suppose and i tend to let my thoughts wander to the negative extreme - imagining the worst of everything. on the bright side, it makes me less vulnerable and take for granted the security we enjoy now, though all those thoughts almost always drive me crazy. and it is not helping that we seem to be experiencing quite a number of misfortunes of late. spiritual attack perhaps? thank God my family is safe and protected. i can foresee my breakthrough coming soon. ^.*

2008-03-08T22:19:00.002+08:00

apparently my blog is feeling neglected. have been up to my neck with work that i barely had time to post an entry. somehow this semester i am feeling ultra stressed. perhaps i have finally been enlightened and have higher expectations. oh well.. better late than never! at least i am moving on to the next level.

waited patiently for 15 working days only to realise they are late! it's now 2 days overdue. not that i am really that anxious, as I believe I can easily find a job outside. worse comes to the worst i can become a full-time tutor, not like it is any different from what i am now. 4 back-to-back tuitions in one day is fast becoming customary. other than repeating myself for umpteen times, it isnt exactly very challenging, which is good in a way. sometimes i wonder if teaching in a class will be the same? i seriously doubt so. students are generally more well-behaved in a private environment, which creates doubts of my ability to control a rowdy class of students who are more likely to be bigger in size than me. in any case, i may jolly well turn out to be a chili padi! ;P

2008-02-18T01:33:00.003+08:00

it didnt seem that long ago when dear came back. but now she's gone again!? oh well.. i can only wait till december before i get to see her again unless i am planning to visit her when i graduate.

first time at T3 when it's been open like eons ago. call me a mountain tortoise but... T3 is real huge! i know i have said this millions of time but still i want to say that i really love the feeling of being in the airport. it just makes one feel so secure. quote from Daniel, i just feel like taking a flight and go for a holiday. isnt it amazing how buildings can impose a need on you? that is the power of landscapes! ;p in any case, the airport, with all the shops and restaurants, is just as attractive as any other shopping malls.

journey back was a bliss. i truly enjoy taking buses in particular late in the night when traffic is super smooth. one negative aspect is the super cold air-con at full blast. brr.... now i am bearing the consequence - runny nose. alright. i guess it is a signal for me to take a rest. it is way way past my bedtime already.

everything that i ever need is right here in my arms.. tonight.

2008-02-14T15:54:00.003+08:00

one of the most fatal mistakes to commit in an interview is to contradict yourself. sadly, I have committed this grave mistake. my valentine's day date didnt turn out so well afterall. what can I say? I can only blame myself for not being adequately prepared. 2 days of bridge at the chalet hasnt helped much. sigh. I pray that God will see me through this time. 15 working days of waiting...

in the meantime, i suppose i may need to source for other jobs already, meaning i also need to write up my c.v soon and start sending it out.

seize my tomorrow, learn my yesterday

2008-02-12T00:05:00.000+08:00

i received a letter in my mail box today. valentine's date with......
MOE!

interview on 14 Feb. apparently i will be offered Chemistry and Social Studies. kind of apprehensive...

2008-02-08T10:17:00.000+08:00

the moon has moved back to its original position one year ago marking the beginning of a new lunar calendar year. increasingly i view visitations as meaningless. perhaps just as Alister said, as we get older, cny becomes less exciting and the festive mood just isnt there. nothing much except everyone gathered in front of either the black box or the hotpot, waiting for the time to pass. or i guess it is just me, having no common topics with most of my cousins but one, the hours just seem to drag. from the looks on everyone else's faces, i gather most of us have the same feeling. in any case, visitation is officially over!

i figure i must be really FAT last time. everyone looks at me and say i have lost weight. basically over the past year, i think i have lost 2kg at max. with all the pre-cny bingeing, it should be halved to only 1kg. nonetheless i dont see myself as slim not to mention skinny. it's still a long way to go before i am reduced to a bag of bones. haha.

watching cj7 with Alister and friends later. *.^

2008-01-29T23:04:00.000+08:00

lately i am beginning to experience the ubiquity of an ageing population in Singapore. indeed the problem seemed to have intensified over the years, either that or it is because i neglected and dismissed this social issue in the past. since my new home is now in Tiong Bahru, I have began to notice the number of elderly people around me.

taking bus with elderly people constituting more than half the passengers is a common occurrence. on one of the rides, an issue intrigued me. suppose there are so many elderly on the bus that all the seats have been taken up by the elderly, even with a number of them left standing, who should give up seats? probably it is on a first come first serve basis? in any case, people nowadays are considerably selfish. many a times, i have witnessed a young, able person ignoring an old person wobbling in front of him. not that i had never been guilty of that, but that was in the past. not that i was selfish but more of thin-skinned. the problem of ascertaining who to give up the seat to and how to give it up tactfully. perhaps the person may look elderly but in actual fact, he is not and may even find it offensive. now, i have learnt to be thick-skinned and offer my seat graciously to anyone who deem fit. seriously i think all of us need to develop a social conscience and be socially responsible individuals, towards a loving society!

2008-01-25T23:56:00.000+08:00

perseverance is the key to success! after 2 rounds of appeal, i have finally secured the module of my choice - NM 2209. great!!

2008-01-20T00:19:00.000+08:00

actual day of birthday was well-spent with family and friends. lunch with Val was yummilicious and most enjoyable since it's been a while since we last had quality time together. shopped for a while before i went for tuition. post-tuition was games at Mind Cafe @ Purvis St. had 2 hours of fun with Desmond, Kin Sung and my sister before heading for Brewerkz. shared a hamburger with Le Wei, downed 2 pints of beer followed by another glass of white wine at Indochine where Gerald is working. went singing at K Box at cinneleisure after Gerald knocked off work. droned out songs all they way from 1 to 6 before being escorted home by 2 bodyguards. slept for 1 hour and was pulled out of bed by my niece. super sleepy but havent much of a choice because i have lectures starting at 12. after school, celebrated my birthday with N357 though i cant eat my birthday cake. really glad to have known all of them and all the times we had together.

just met up with Yuan Tai, Jackson and Daniel for dinner at ThaiExpress. post-dinner was games at Mind Cafe @ Prinsep St. Jia Ying, Zheng Hao and Lionel joined shortly after. had a fabulous time of fun and laughter. really appreciated their effort in making time out of their busy schedules. and miraculously my birthday wish was fulfilled. *.^

the temptations of delectable food....
nothing is gonna get me down.

2008-01-17T10:17:00.000+08:00

the mode of celebration this year is a distinct contrast to that of last year. instead of big crowds, i've settled on personal one-on-one meetups this time round, quality instead of quantity. first up on the list was Jamie. met up with him at holland village at 2200 last night. though by that time, most of the people were walking out instead of heading in. dinner at Breko was great followed by aimless walking around the neighbourhood since most of the shops were closed by then. finally i decided to spare him the torture and we parted ways. next up on the list will be lunch with Val at Wang Chai and dinner with Le Wei at Brewerkz. who cares if these add inches to my waistline. birthdays only come once a year!

this year i've been immensely blessed. birthday greetings from people who i least expected. after absence of many months of contact, it is a pleasant surprise to hear from them and heart-warming to know that they remembered. not forgetting my students who treat me like a part of their family. in particular the Min family who is so receptive and never fails to share their lives with me. Mrs Min whipped up a meal of delectable Korean cuisine for me yesterday. hence, lunch was authentically Korean. indeed, what more can i ask for? *.~

before i know it, the age of double swan (22) descends and with it the time of matchmaking. when everyone's wellwishes center around me finding my knight clad in shining armor, riding a white stallion. time to set down my criterium again, think they havent change much? in the order of importance though more or less, they are of fairly equal importance:
1. gentlemanly (acts like holding the door open, sending the girl home etc)
2. witty (no-brainer talks get on my nerves and bores me out)
3. humorous (jokes that are not offensive are good enough for entertainment)
4. family-oriented (not mummy's boy definitely!)
5. charismatic with a good sense of dressing (a person's style of dressing reflects their character)
and of course the person must be of same frequency as me. different bandwidth leads to serious miscommunication.

in any case, i am sure the right man will present himself at the right time. for now, i embrace singlehood! and lastly... Happy Birthday to myself~ ^.*

2008-01-15T23:08:00.000+08:00

back to school Day 1. managed to pull myself out of bed at 0625. it's been countless semesters, 4 to be exact, since i went for an early morning lecture. a pat on the back for achieving that. haha. a good start! though i was quite destressed and stranded as both Val and Joyce were unable to make it. not that bad though as i made a new friend. ;p

crashed NM2209 for my second lecture of the day. indeed i think new media modules are much much more my cup of tea! pray hard my appeal will be successful.

third lecture was interesting with the ever-so-humorous German lecturer, never fails to amuse us with his eccentric manner, funny antics and quirky words dripping with slight sarcasm. nonetheless, i prefer his mode of teaching - laidback, which suits me just fine.

fourth lecture was super boring. not exactly something i fancy. if it wasnt for its close relationship with the lab module, I wouldn't have taken it. however, after undergoing half the lecture, I am almost certain I want to drop it.

fifth lecture was manageable though i was quite lonely. seems like i am one of the few brave souls who dared to infringe on the territory of IT whizzes. CS 2250 isnt that bad for the time being. let's just pray i can hand in there.

after a full day of back-to-back lessons, i am really tired. shall go unwind tomorrow at Holland Village. woots!